The iron which fails to become steel is hated

Post 26 Mud cannot stick on the wall

Steel, which is harder and tougher than iron, is used in the manufacturing of cars, machines, tools, cutlery and many other products. It can only be formed by treating melted iron with intense heat and mixing it with carbon. Hence, when the iron is not refined by fire of extreme heat, it can never become steel.

Figuratively, a person who has not gone through hardship and hard work will never be able to portray an image of a real man. If he depends only on others for aids and is not willing to toil, he is the iron to be hated for failing to become steel. He is at best weak in character.

The moral lesson is that when a person is not able to stand on his own two feet despite of all the help given, he is like the mud that cannot stick on the wall. Even though it could, the adhesion would not be strong enough to last. The mud would finally drop off the wall after some time.

Both the expressions are used on people who fail to perform due to laziness, corruption, and lack of determination. As respect is earned and not demanded, a person who has diligence, integrity, and drive will be highly regarded by others.

It pays to steel oneself against all odds in life.

29 December 2009

Lend others your ears

Post 25 Listening is an art

“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears” as spoken by Mark Anthony in Julius Caesar Act 3, Scene 2 shows that in delivering a message, it is important for the audience to listen. The message can only be clearly understood when it is clearly heard.

The atmosphere during dinner parties or social gatherings is that of noise and excitement coupled with uproarious talk and laughter. Hence, there will be situation when both invited speakers and guests at a gathering speak at the same time. This is especially conspicuous when old classmates and friends meet again after decades of years. Speakers who are wise know how to keep their speeches short and concise to avoid the embarrassment of being ignored.

Listening is therefore an art. It is an etiquette which should be inculcated from young. It reflects the personality and self-restraint of a person. Listening is vital in personal, social and business relationships. A person who is impatient and does not listen to others may be deemed to be self-centred and is not interested to know what the others are saying. Listening is important in communication and in the fostering of mutual respect, understanding, trust, and acknowledgement. Listening gives others a special feeling of appreciation that at least someone is willing to listen.

A good listener makes a good conversationalist.

22 December 2009

It is always a joy talking to children

Post 24 Lessons on decision making

A regular little mischief came to my house for a visit and gave me a riddle, which he might have heard from somewhere, to solve. “Uncle, if there are 10 birds resting on a tree, and five of them decide to fly away, how many birds will there be left on the tree?’ he asked me with a cheeky smile. I suspected that this preschooler had kept something up his sleeve. Nevertheless, I gave him the answer, “Five!”

“Wrong! Uncle, the answer is ‘10’. The five which had decided to fly away earlier changed their minds and did not do so. Ha! Ha! Ha! ”, and the little mischief looked at me and walked away triumphantly.

The boy has taught me lessons on decision making. People may have decided to agree with you on an issue but there is no guarantee that their decision will not be changed. Therefore, before one decides whether or not to enter into a deal or believe in someone, one must find out more about the sincerity, trustworthiness, and commitment of the other party. People who brag unblushingly may sometimes go back to their word.

15 December 2009

Make things happen

Post 23 Any time means no time

This proverb means when an event is not planned ahead or confirmed, it will never take place. The event remains an empty talk. For example, when a friend tells us that he or she is able to meet us any time, it is very likely that the meeting will not take place because there is no forward planning and the date to meet has not been decided on. Hence, to make things happen there must be commitment on all parties.

In a fast moving society people are so busy with one thing or another that they have little time to spare for others. It is a challenge for these people to set aside some time for family members and friends. They can plan ahead and set a time frame to make things happen. ‘Any time’ is just another very common platitude, just as ‘I’m pleased to see you’ is.

An old man was discussing with a group of young people on the topic ‘time’. When one of them complained that he had had no time for many things because he was busy with his work all the time, the old man advised him to plan wisely for the things he wanted in life. He must determine what specific goal he wanted to achieve. “Don’t say you have no time and are not free. You’ll have all the ‘free time’ you want when you breathe your last!” said the old man.

Do make time for things to happen.


8 December 2009

The Goose and I

Post 22 What is good for the goose is good for the gander

When I was a little boy I was scared to go near the geese which were reared by my neighbour in the little town where I lived. The gaggle would charge at me sending me running for my life. I later learned that snakes are afraid of geese. Apparently the goose droppings would cause the body of snakes to rot leading to their death.

My other encounter with the goose was when I visited Hong Kong as an adult. I was brought to a restaurant famous for its delicious roast goose drumstick. It is interesting to note that the left roasted goose drumstick tastes better than that of the right one. I was told that when a goose sleeps, it stands on its left leg thereby toning up its muscles.

In school I learned that a male goose is a gander and the young of a goose is called a gosling. ‘What is good for the goose is good for the gander’ means that in a society, both males and females ought to be treated and rewarded the same way, using the same standard.

There is another similar proverb which is used in a general context, ‘What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.’ It means that if one person is allowed to behave in a certain way, then so is the other. There is no exception to the rule for anyone.

If what is good for the goose is good for the gander, then what is bad for the gander is also bad for the goose. This rule applies to all people.

1 December 2009

Lifelong Learning

Post 21 It is never too late to learn

More than 2500 years ago in China , there was a supreme ruler in the state of Jin called Jin Ping Gong. One day he said to Shi Kuang, a highly respected but blind grand master in music, “I am already 70 years old but I like to learn. Don’t you think it is already too late for me to do so?”

Grand master Kuang replied, “Why don’t Your Highness hurry up and light a candle?” Jin Ping Gong felt insulted and angrily retorted, “How can an official make fun of his supreme ruler?”

Grand master Kuang then said seriously, “How dare I, a blind official, tease Your Highness? I heard that

‘To be eager to learn at the time of early youth is like a rising sun;

To be eager to learn at the prime of life is like an afternoon sun;

To be eager to learn at an old age is like the light of a candle.’

Which is better: to walk with the help of a candle light or to walk in darkness?”

Having heard it, Jin Ping Gong said, “You are right.”

Learning is a continuous process. It is never too late to learn.

24 November 2009

A square, a circle, to move, and to stay put

Post 20 There is more to it than meets the eye in a chess game

About 1,300 years ago and during the Tang Dynasty, there was a child prodigy by the name of Li Mi. When he was seven years old, emperor Tang Xuan Zong summoned him to the palace to test his talent. When the child was brought in, the emperor was having a Chinese chess game with a Revered Mr Zhang.

Zhang then said to Li Mi: “A square is like a chess board;A circle is like a chess piece;To move is to activate the chess pieces; andTo stay put means the chess pieces are dead.”

Li Mi , who later in his life became an advisor to the emperor, was then asked to explain the principles of playing a chess game using the words ‘a square, a circle, to move and to stay put’, of which he recited:

“A square is like speaking out from a sense of justice;

A circle is like being comprehensive and encompassing;

To move is like presenting one’s talent; and

To stay put is like having understood matters thoroughly.”

The rhyme of Li Mi carries the message that when one speaks the truth and has empathy, one is brimful of talent well-nurtured. It is incredible that such a young boy could read the ways of the world so thoroughly.

17 November 2009

Have an exceptional insight

Post 19 To be able to see what others cannot

When one is an optimist, one expects to win; and when one is a pessimist, one does not even hope. A winner has an exceptional insight in fulfilling his or her expectancy and works towards that goal with confidence. Winners are able to see what losers cannot.

I am very much impacted in life by the following sayings which I learned during one of my Chinese lessons in school:

“Fishes choose to live where there are waterweeds;
Birds prefer to perch on selected good trees; and
Wise officials want only to serve under virtuous masters.”

Fishes have their own sense of judgment in pursuing what they want for a comfortable dwelling place; birds of good breed have the instinct to know the best place to rest; and officials who have integrity and are wise will choose not to wallow in the mire with corrupt masters who are evil.

Thus, to live a life guided by an exceptional insight is an excellent choice.

10 November 2009

The onlooker sees most of the game

Post 18 The spectators see the game better than the players

This post is associated with the following anecdote to remind me of my happy childhood.

When I was a boy living in a small town during the years when TV was not even introduced, the football matches between different teams from nearby rubber estates were the highlights of my otherwise boring evenings. The sense of anticipation of such matches was intense for me and my childhood friends. Whenever the players who were standing in the lorries carrying them arrived, we would all be excited. It was even more so when the players entered the field.

It was interesting to note that there were bare-footed players. Life must have been tough tapping rubber then and a few players might not have the extra cash to buy a pair of football boots! Nevertheless, it was the love of playing football that mattered for the players whose sheer joy only an appearance on the field could bring. I must say I cherish the memory of them all, my unsung heroes.

It was during the play that the word ‘Centre’ was repeatedly being echoed. Whenever a winger had the ball under his control while advancing towards the opposite goalposts, the hundreds of standing cheering crowd would start shouting “Centre! Centre! ”.

They wanted the winger to pass the ball to the centre near the goalposts so that one of the forward players could head or kick the ball into the net. If the winger did not do so, he would be booed. This applied to players whose control of the ball was spoilt by opposing players coming from the back, as forward players would not be able to see what was happening at their back.

The spectators can see the whole picture of any game better than the players indeed.

3 November 2009

Economy-driven or knowledge-driven?

Post 17 What constitutes a good university education?

On 19 August 2009, Sun Yat-Sen University (Zhong Shan Da Xue) in Guangzhou made an announcement which would be of great interest to many people in general and educationists in particular. Being one of the major universities in China, the bold step taken by the university, after studying the running of Liberal Arts Colleges overseas, is well worth our discoursing.

The university would select 30 new students from the more than 8000 new intakes to go through a four-year elite education not associating with any faculty in the university. They will study Ancient Chinese Language, Ancient Greek Language, Latin, English Language, Chinese Civilisation, and Western Civilisation. The cream of the creams will be awarded a professional degree in Liberal Arts. Outstanding graduates will also go straight for their Master degree class. The new students are to study together and stay in the same hostel.

The main aim of this innovative initiative is to nurture future talents who will have the ability to do further research in the fields of liberal arts and social sciences. They are to “read more, think more, sacrifice more, and to shoulder more responsibilities in future. The College of Liberal Arts in the university holds in esteem not wealth but wisdom and self cultivation. They are not to be models of billionaires but that of great thinkers and great scholars.”

There are as many people who support the move of the university as there are who oppose it.

What say you?

27 October 2009

Human Nature

Post 16 A Harmonious World

Xunzi, a great thinker and a philosopher in ancient China, explains why human beings stand out distinctively at the highest level in nature as follows:

“Water and fire are substances with energy but without life; plants have life but without cognizance; animals have cognizance but without morals; human beings have energy, life, cognizance, and morals thereby making them supreme. (Cognizance means awareness, understanding or knowledge.)

Why is it that human beings whose strength is not equal to that of oxen, and whose walking speed is inferior to that of horses, have command over oxen and horses? The answer is that human beings are gregarious (enjoying the company of others), whereas oxen and horses are not.”

We can therefore divide the living things in the world in ascending order as water and fire, plants, animals and human beings.

Hence, when human beings cannot live peacefully among one another, they are worse than oxen and horses. The world will only be a better place to live in when people are harmonious in nature.

20 October 2009

Live our life 'now'

Post 15 Much water has flowed under the bridge

‘Much water has flowed under the bridge’ is a proverb which means much has happened since an event of long ago. What is past is past and that event is no longer relevant anymore. The water is gone and may ultimately just become a very tiny part of the ocean. No one can touch the same water twice. Thus, any unpleasant experiences in the past should be over and done with. They are water under the bridge. They are insignificant as compared to what life can offer us ahead. Hence, one should let bygones be bygones.

To live our life ‘now’, we may want to take a cue from children. A child’s time is ‘now’ and to the child, all time is fun and full of laughter. He spends his time ‘now’ to play, run, jump, sleep, and explore. He has a hundred ways of playing with a simple thing, ninety-nine ways more than what his parents or grandparents can think of. He knows how to enjoy what he has ‘now’ . He lives simply and happily.

Waris Dirie was a child from Somalian desert, who became famous in the fashion world. In her book, Desert Flower, she lamented,

“The United States is the wealthiest country in the world, yet everybody feels poor. And more than bankrupt of money, everyone is bankrupt of time. Everybody’s got no time. No time at all. ‘Get out of my way, man. I’m in a hurry!’ The streets are packed with people rushing here and there…….”

Do you have time to cherish the value of simple things and know how to enjoy life the simple way ‘now'?

13 October 2009

Quick-wittedness

Post 14 A sense of humour is the spice of life

A Chinese saying has it that ‘a word once spoken cannot be overtaken even by a team of four horses’. No matter how fast the four horses can run, the spoken word can never be taken back because it has already travelled far and wide. Thus, it is important for us not to be rash with our words. However, sometimes one may be forced to show one’s resourcefulness in an emergency.

British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill was delivering a speech in public when a note was handed over to him from the floor. The word ‘idiot’ was written on it. Churchill who was perfectly calm and collected told the congregation, “I just received a letter without contents. It has only the signature of the writer.” These were words of quick-wittedness spiced with humour to strike back at the culprit.

General Dwight D. Eisenhower, the 34th President of the United States, was among the five invited guests to speak at a gathering. He was to be the last speaker. The first four speakers deliberated lengthy speeches and when it was General Eisenhower’s turn to speak, it was already near 10pm and everyone at the gathering had become restless. He then went up to the stage and said that any speech must have a full stop and so let him be one for the night.

What a sense of humour!


6 October 2009

Moment gone is opportunity lost

Post 13 Make hay while the sun shines

Hay is grass that has been cut and dried, especially for use as feed for horses and cows. Sunlight is needed to dry the hay. To make hay while the sun shines is to take full advantage of an opportunity while it lasts. In the next moment, the rain may come and the opportunity to dry the hay would be gone. Thus, we must always grasp whatever golden moment that comes along and never let it go. Make full use of it. If we hesitate, the opportunity will be lost at the twinkling of an eye.

If I may digress for a moment, the wife of a very influential husband lamented on the inconstancy of human relationships. At the peak of their life, a mere mention of a leaking roof at home to a friend would see workers doing the repair work the next day; the casual mention of a faulty lamp or plug would mean that someone would be proactive enough to call for an electrician to repair them. It was a time when friends were so helpful and obliging.

However, by the time the power of her husband was on the wane, their visitors were few and far between. This prompted her to send an article to a newspaper, in the 1980s, using the proverb Make hay while the sun shines to sigh with feeling.

Nevertheless, we must view the proverb at its proper perspective. It encourages us to do something worthwhile to achieve success while there is still an opportunity. We are to strike while the iron is hot.

29 September 2009

Love is a Many-Splendored Thing

Post 12 When you are rich in love, you are poor in hatred.

A Many-Splendored Thing is a novel written by Han Suyin in 1952. She is a well-known Chinese- Eurasian author born in China in 1917. The novel was made into the 1955 film Love is a Many-Splendored Thing, the song of which is an evergreen. Music lovers in their 50s and 60s onwards will no doubt have a feeling of nostalgia for their younger days whenever they hear this song being played.

The novel tells of a British reporter who falls in love with a Eurasian doctor originally from China only to become victims of class struggle and race prejudice in Hong Kong in the 1950s. Class consciousness and racial prejudice are just as relevant today as they were then. Nations are against nations; and civil wars abound in many continents.

Love and hatred know no barriers and they transcend national differences. It is only when love abounds that hatred, which is the result of pride and prejudice, will leave our heart.

In 1631, the Mogul emperor Shah Jahan's second and favourite wife, Mumtaz Mahal, died while giving birth to their fourteenth child. She uttered a dying wish to Jahan that a monument be built to manifest their love. Jahan then took more than two decades to build the Taj Mahal in Agra, India. This architecture is now one of the Seven Wonders of the World. It is also a symbol of love and passion.

Indeed, Love is a Many-Splendored Thing.

22 September 2009

Be focused

Post 11 The Earthworms and the Crabs

Xunzi, a famous Chinese philosopher, thinker and educationist advised us to be focused in whatever we do. He said that earthworms do not have sharp claws and teeth, and strong bones and muscles, yet they are able to eat of the earth above and drink of the spring water below because they are focused.

Xunzi further said that a crab has four pairs of legs and a pair of big claws. However, crabs are restless in nature and inattentive. This has resulted in them having to stay in holes made by snakes and eels. Therefore crabs are dependent on snakes and eels for shelter.

The teaching here is that we must be focused. We are encouraged to emulate the earthworms who have the will to make use of what they have to overcome all obstacles. When we devote our mind in working patiently towards achieving our goal, we will succeed.

Indeed, when a person is focused, he is like dripping water which can ultimately eat through a stone. His perseverance will lead him to success.

The earthworms focus to get what they want and do so with dignity. The crabs, even though with their innate prowess, fail to match the earthworms in character.


15 September 2009

Trying to please both sides

Post 10 Run with the hare and hunt with the hounds

A hare is an animal similar to a rabbit but bigger. A hound is a type of dog used in hunting and it hunts by following a scent. It is said that hunting hare is challenging because the hare seldom travels in a straight line and is difficult to catch. The hare is always the winner in the hide-and-seek race.

When one runs with the hare and hunts with the hounds, one is supporting two competing sides in an argument. However, in reality it is impossible for one to please the two warring parties simultaneously and a clear stand has just got to be made. In trying to please both sides of a dispute, one may end up undertaking a thankless task. No one can run with the hare while at the same time join the hounds in hunting the hare.

On another aspect, a husband may want to pacify both his wife and his mother, who are having a misunderstanding. In this case he has to think of a way to please one without offending the other. He may go from the frying pan to the fire.

In his Merchant of Venice Shakespeare wrote: "When I shun Scylla your father, I fall into Charybdis your mother.” This is a case of having to choose between two unattractive options. In ancient Greek mythology, Scylla was a female monster who could rip sailors apart and Charybdis was a whirlpool likened to a monster too. When a person says he is between Scylla and Charybdis, it implies he is between the devil and the deep blue sea. He is in a dilemma as to what to do.

Love never fails. When there is empathy, there will be understanding.

8 September 2009

The intrinsic value in a person

Post 9 A rose is a rose by any other name

William Shakespeare was an English poet and playwright. He was widely deemed to be the greatest writer in the English language. When Shakespeare wrote the line ‘A rose is a rose by any other name’ in Romeo and Juliet, he was implying that no matter what anything is called, it still remains what it is. Thus a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. The intrinsic value of a rose is its fragrance and bright colour. This might have inspired Juliet to say, “What’s in a name?”

What matters is therefore what you are and not what you are called. One can be as sweet as a rose when one is a real person. Mengzi (or Mencius), a famous Chinese philosopher, said that anyone who has the following three traits is a real man:

Neither riches nor honours can lead one to be licentious;

Neither poverty nor want can lead one to be submissive; and

Neither threat nor force can lead one to be subdued.

The wisdom here is that a person ought to have self-control, hold on to integrity, and be determined. Hence, one may be called by any other name, yet one’s strength of character remains to be one’s hallmark.

1 September 2009

In children there is no guile

Post 8 Children speak their minds

Children have sweet and guileless nature and they are not deceitful or cunning. It is a joy talking to them because they are naïve and call a spade a spade. Generally children do not twist and turn their words nor add inflammatory details to a story.

A kindergarten teacher asked those who had stayed in a hotel before to put up their hands. A boy quickly raised his hand and proudly said that he had stayed in a hotel near his house. When asked why the need to stay in a hotel so near the house, the boy said, “You see my father quarrelled with my mother that night. After that my father asked me to pack my clothes and follow him to…”

A friend of mine was born two years before the Japanese occupation in the then Malaya (now Malaysia) in the 1940s. Life during the three-and-a-half years of the Japanese rule was tough and food was scarce. Many people had to live on wild roots and sweet potatoes. One day my friend related to his two pre-school children, who were enjoying their fried chicken at an eating outlet, how difficult life was when he was a boy. When the children heard that their father had to eat rice served only with sauce at times, they said with one voice, “Daddy, don’t bluff.”

My five-year-old granddaughter saw her mother reading a book and wanted to have a look at it. When told that the book was written by her grandfather, she asked to have a look at it and excitedly flipped through the book before commenting, “Is this book written by grandpa? It is not grandpa’s handwriting! How does he know how to spell so many words?”

Children indeed speak their minds and do not mince their words. They are unpretentious.


25 August 2009

Lessons from the dog and the frogs

Post 7 There is always something special in a person


A trader was selling a pile of tiger bones by the road side surrounded by curious bystanders. There was an endless discussion on whether the bones were really that of a tiger. The trader was trying his best to convince the crowd. At that time, an old man came and inspected the bones. He then told the trader that he had to go back to his house a stone’s throw away, and call his teacher to come and check the bones.

When the old man came back to the scene, the crowd was surprised that a dog was brought along. The dog with its keen sense of smell scented about the bones. Suddenly the dog shuddered and urinated. The crowd was very surprised at the reaction of the dog towards the bones.

The old man immediately told the amazing crowd that the bones were those of a tiger. The involuntary urination occurred because the dog was frightened of the tiger bones. The dog had the instinct and ability to differentiate the tiger bones from other bones. It had the special gift which its master, the old man, did not have. In this case, no DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid) test was needed to find out the authenticity of the tiger bones. The dog could do it just by smelling them. This also explains why many wild animals hunt by scent.


In another instance, we may remember the gigantic earthquake that struck Sichuan province in China on Monday, 12 May 2008 and killed tens of thousands of people. A few days before the earthquake, unusual swarms of frogs could be seen roaming the streets of cities in the area. This prompted many people to believe that the abnormal behaviour of the frogs had signified an imminent major natural disaster. Unfortunately, this omen was not taken seriously by the authority concerned to forewarn the public. The frogs had sent a very clear signal of an imminent disaster.

Thus, the lesson which we can learn from the dog and the frogs is that they have inborn talents. Similarly there is always an innate ability in a person which makes him or her special, be it the innate sense of fun, innate kindness or a special talent.


18 August 2009

Methods Matter

Post 6 To collect firewood, look at the terrains of the mountain;
To cut firewood, look at its features.

When a woodcutter wants to collect firewood, he needs to survey the terrains of the mountain to see whether the mountain is rough, smooth, easy or difficult to move across. He has to find out how best to collect the firewood from the mountain with minimum effort. He looks at the whole picture first. When he is about to cut the firewood, he has to look at its features to figure out the correct way to cut it. He now has to look at the parts of the firewood.

An emperor was amazed at the way a master butcher slaughtered an ox, and wanted to know how he could do so with such excellent skills. The master butcher explained that his skills were acquired through many years of observation and hard work. Initially when he worked, he only saw before him individual oxen. After three years of practice, however, he saw no more whole oxen but just the sum total of their muscles, tendons and bones.

In a delicate situation where tendons and bones meet, the master butcher said that he would just gently apply his blade on the key joint and the part would then fall like crumbling earth. This Chinese idiom, Seeing no ox as whole, inspires us to study and work efficiently. Excellence in performance comes from hard work, and knowing how best things can be done.

Learn from the woodcutter who looks at the holistic view in collecting firewood and the details in cutting it. He looks at whole and at parts. Learn also from the master butcher whose skills come from observation and diligent work. Both the woodcutter and the master butcher have methods in doing things.

11 August 2009

Waste not, want not

Post 5 Be thrifty even in days of abundance

If you avoid extravagance, you will avoid poverty. Waste not, want not, therefore advises us to be thrifty. Unfinished food is often either discarded after meals or kept in the refrigerator sometimes only to be forgotten and to be thrown away. This is a waste of money. It also does not justify the use of valuable resources in producing the food. Ironically there are still billion of people around the world, who are undernourished and go to sleep hungry. Always count your blessings that you are not in want.

There is a Chinese saying, Behind the vermilion gates meat and wine go to waste while out on the road lie the bones of those frozen to death. The vermilion gates are red-lacquered doors of wealthy homes. Can you visualise the contrast between extravagance and poverty within and without the large, impressive and luxurious house. The rich and the poor are living in two different worlds and lifestyles.

An emperor was informed by his prime minister that there were demonstrations all over the country. The people were hungry because of famine. The emperor then asked the prime minister, “If they are hungry and have no rice to eat, why don’t they eat meat?” The emperor was divorced from the reality of life.

A person who is born into a well-to-do family is said to have been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Financially he is better off than his peers whose parents are not as wealthy as his. Nevertheless, his character must still be nurtured through diligence, perseverance, and life experiences. His well-to-do social-economic background can be a double-edged sword. It may be an added advantage to him because he has the means to do many things; or it may be a hindrance to him because he may be too dependent on others and would not be able to stand on his own two feet. What he needs to do is to make good use of his slight edge to further improve what he already has.

If a person happens to be born into a poor family, he must remember what Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America had said, “Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is.” There is nothing to be ashamed of if a person is poor. He can reverse that situation by having an attitudinal change. When he studies and works diligently, blames no one for the situation he is in, and believes that there is no free lunch in the world, he can also be rich one day. Since he has been poor before, he will truly understand the value of money and hard work. Waste not, want not, will then become more meaningful to him.

In modern days people like to frequent food outlets with delightfully peaceful ambiences. They have the means to enjoy and relax with their friends there. However, there were times that I noticed some customers who left without finishing a considerable portion of their orders. They had shown in public the weakness in their character. In contrast my 83 year-old brother-in-law who is a believer of ‘waste not, want not’, eats up every grain of rice in his bowl. This is frugality personified.

The following adage which I learnt in the primary school is now translated from Chinese into English for you to ponder on:

“Who would have thought that the meal on a plate,
Has each grain the fruit of arduous labour?”

4 August 2009

You are what you think

Post 4 Attitude is everything

Your attitude reflects your way of thinking and you are what you think. Positive thinking brings about much achievement in life because attitude is everything. Why do people think differently? Their exposure and past experiences in life and how they have been nurtured to react to them affect their thinking. Generally speaking, students from good social-economic background have better chances of furthering their tertiary education at universities and colleges. From young they have been imperceptibly influenced by what they constantly see and hear from successful professionals. To them much of the learning in life is caught, not taught.

Students from the lower strata of society are handicapped financially and have less opportunity to be exposed to such situation for inspiration. They may also have to help out their parents by working part-time, at the expense of spending more time studying. However, they too can be high achievers if they possess a positive attitude towards life because attitude can initiate changes.

Attitude can be nurtured and acquired. For example, if learning the English language has been a happy experience, you will then associate that subject with happiness and success thereby making learning it an enjoyable one. This will spur you on to walk the extra mile in mastering the language.

However, if you do not like to learn the English language, you will have to remove the causes of your dislike. You may not like to speak in English for fear of being ridiculed by your friends; you may not like spelling because it is difficult; or you simply cannot differentiate between past and present tenses. In order to remove the obstacles, you can seek the help of your teacher in the learning of phonetic symbols for English. This is important in guiding you on the link between sound and spelling. You can also read widely to improve your grammar and knowledge. Listen to news and make use of the state-of-the-art digital learning aids like DVDs to improve your language skills. Practice makes perfect. Have a positive attitude in the learning of other school subjects too and you will realise that much can be achieved.

The education of mind, body, and aesthetic sense are the basis for a harmonious education. Your life has need of harmony and rhythm. Bookworms miss out on the joy offered by music, art and outdoor activities like running, jumping, mountain-climbing, swimming, and playing games. There are scholars who are musicians, singers, sportsmen, footballers, basketball players, tennis players, badminton players, swimmers, or artists. It is their attitude in life which enables them to stand tall among their peers and enjoy life. You too can be like one of them. A glass of water can be half-full or half-empty depending on how you look at it. If you are optimistic and positive in your attitude, you will look at the brighter side of life.

There is a Chinese fable, The Frog in the Well, which tells of a frog who lived at the bottom of a well. He thought the well was the world until a sea turtle told him about the vast ocean. The turtle described the immensity of the sea to the frog: there were floods nine years out of ten, yet the sea water never swelled much; there were droughts seven years out of eight, yet the sea never grew much less. No floods were great enough nor droughts severe enough to affect the sea. Life in the sea was really marvellous!

The frog could only stare at the turtle, dazed and in amazement. He must have widened his outlook in life and changed his way of thinking after listening to the turtle.

Your attitude will change when you widen your horizons in life.


28 July 2009

Success and Distinction

Post 3 Success and distinction are strangers to the slothful


Success is progressive and continuous. You keep on making new successes on different aspects of life as years go by. Through experience and guidance, you become a person of good character and of wisdom. Distinction is the quality of being excellent. You need time and diligence to see a distinct improvement in your studies. Success and distinction are twins. Success will be accompanied by distinction; and distinction cannot stand alone without success.

The slothful is one who is lazy and fails in life because of his attitude. Thus, when you study hard, play hard in the field, and possess a positive attitude, success and distinction will be yours. When I was a primary school boy in the 1950s, tuition was alien to me. My classmates and I enjoyed our outdoor activities after school hours. We roared with laughter picking wild fruits, swimming in rivers, catching spiders, flying kites, and playing tops. We studied hard and lived a school life which was full of fun and playtime. By the way, when was your last hearty laugh?

Teenagers today are busy in an endless paper chase, late-night homework, extra tuition classes, and some immersing themselves in unproductive activities. There is not much time left for games, sports, music and other co-curricular activities. Remember the proverb, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”? Some writers have added a second part to it, “All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.” Therefore give equal importance to both your studies and play. .

When a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well. Failure is the mother of success. Every failure is a gain to you because there is no success without failures. Thomas Edison failed his way to success before he finally succeeded in inventing the light bulb. The success was worth all his efforts.

As students, you have to cross the hurdles of many examinations. Examinations exist for thousands of years because they are still the best way to assess abilities of students, both written and practical. When you sit for your examinations, you are being tested on whether you can cope with the pressure in the exam hall and still perform well tenaciously. In a working environment, you are expected to be able to stand the pressure of meeting deadlines and multi-tasking. Throughout your career, you will also have to stand out distinctly when you sit for competitive examinations for promotion.

There is a saying; an army is maintained for a thousand days to be used for an hour. This calls for preparation, discipline and training. It will be advisable for you to crystallise your thinking and come out with specific goals which you want to achieve. Work out your time-table, execute your plan and meet deadlines. You can have different plans for different goals. When you discipline yourself in time-management and possess a dogged determination to do well, you will taste the fruits of success and distinction.

21 July 2009

To be enlightened or to be benighted

Post 2 Listen to both sides and you will be enlightened,
Heed only one side and you will be benighted.


When you are enlightened on a matter, you show true and deep understanding of it. The reverse is true. When you are benighted, you are completely without knowledge.

When there is a misunderstanding between two friends, you must listen to both sides to have a clearer picture of why there is a discord between them. However, when you heed only one side, you will be accused of being bias. You will be benighted because you have not heard the other side of the story for you to make value judgment. Therefore, people with benighted minds will draw their foregone conclusion without finding out the true facts of a matter. A benighted person who thought that the world was flat, for example, might need someone to enlighten him!

Are you popular among your classmates? Do you think twice before you act? Will your friends turn to you for help when they are in trouble? If your answers are in the positive, then you tend to be a leader and not a follower. You are a good listener. You are looked up to by your classmates because you are able to discern good from bad, and truth from falsehood. You are affable because you are easy to talk to and have a pleasant disposition. When you make friends instead of enemies among your peers, you will find every day of your school or college life interesting and exciting.

I shall introduce a proverb to you, if you have yet to hear of it: Three cobblers with their wits combined, equal Zhuge Liang the mastermind.

A cobbler is a shoemaker or repairer. Zhuge Liang was the well-known mastermind of war in ancient China. Generally, a cobbler may not be as wise as a mastermind. Nevertheless, the wisdom of three cobblers combined is as powerful as one mastermind because the wisdom of the masses exceeds that of the wisest individual. Therefore when you lend your ears to your friends, you get a helicopter view of a matter without prejudice. You will be more inclined to see things from a more impartial angle. Hence, be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. Always listen to both sides.

Just to digress, there is a Japanese fairy tale on two frogs, Osaka Frog and Kyoto Frog, which I should like to share with you.

Once upon a time in Japan there lived two frogs. One lived in Osaka, a city by the sea; and the other lived in a clear little stream which went through the town of Kyoto. Kyoto Frog wanted to visit Osaka, and Osaka Frog dreamt of seeing Kyoto. One morning they happened to meet each other at the top of a mountain. They both expressed their wish to see and visit their dream places.

Suddenly, Kyoto Frog had an idea and said, "We are tiny as compared to the tall grass. What we need to do is just to stand on our hind legs and then we can see the places we are going to." They then decided to stand up on their hind legs, and hold onto each other. Osaka Frog jumped up and put his front feet on his friend’s shoulders. The frogs stood high up on their toes, with Kyoto Frog facing towards Osaka, and Osaka Frog facing towards Kyoto. When they stood up their large eyes lay in the back of their heads. Both the frogs did not realise that this would only enable them to look backward and not forward. Osaka Frog commented that Kyoto looked exactly like Osaka; and Kyoto Frog said that Osaka was no different from Kyoto.

They were wrong in their judgment of how Kyoto and Osaka actually looked like. Though they might have been facing the places to which they wanted to go, their eyes beheld the places from which they had come. If someone had enlightened them, they would not have been benighted. If only the frogs had been told to turn around, they would have seen a different picture. This would have allowed Osaka Frog to truly see Kyoto and Kyoto Frog to unmistakably view the city of Osaka.

When you listen to both sides, you see things from two different angles and will be more objective in forming your opinion.

14 July 2009

A compilation of life experiences

A compilation of life experiences- specially written for teenagers

Acting is not difficult, what is difficult is to act naturally; speaking is not difficult, what is difficult is to speak like an expert; writing is not difficult, what is difficult is to write with real knowledge and deep insight; making friends is not difficult, what is difficult is to make a bosom friend; giving advice to teenagers is not difficult, what is difficult is to make them believe in you. The writing of this book is justified if it can convince the young readers of the magic of believing.

In order to convince teenagers of what we say, we need to have empathy with teenagers to gain their confidence in us. The awkward position of a thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and nineteen-year-old who are in between childhood and adulthood needs to be understood. They can be guided to know that there are more solutions than problems in life. Indeed teenagers are problem solvers to many senior citizens who have difficulty adjusting their lives in the digital world.

When I was about to buy my new mobile phone, the teenager at the counter asked me whether there were young people staying with me at home. When I answered in the negative, he recommended me to buy one with the least functions because I would not be able to handle the state-of-the-art model without the help of teenagers at home. That was his perception on senior citizens’ intelligence on the usage of mobile phones, and for that matter computers could also be included. Hence, the young and the old can learn from each other’s strong points to offset each other’s weaknesses. The juniors are of the future while the seniors talk about history.

An old Chinese saying has it that a person who has travelled ninety out of a hundred miles is considered to have travelled only half the way even though he has completed ninety per cent of the total journey. He falls short of success for lack of a final effort. Hence, teenagers are encouraged to walk an extra mile in their studies and co-curricular activities to be an all-rounder and to enrich their lives. They will be taught through the history of the elders on how to complete the remaining ten miles to make it a perfect score.

Indigo blue is extracted from the indigo plant but is bluer than the plant it comes from. Ice comes from water and is colder than water. They all signify that pupils can surpass their masters. Teenagers are unpolished gems. They need time, experience, encouragement, and guidance in life to become polished diamonds and rubies in contributing their talents in nation building. This book is therefore specially written for teenagers, not from the perspective of giving lectures but that of love and good intentions. The distinguishing mark in all our discussion is a heart-to-heart talk on several pertinent questions, between the author and the readers in their teens, albeit on a one way traffic.

The height of the sky is not known until a high mountain is scaled;
The thickness of the earth is not known until a deep stream is dived;
The talent of teenagers is not known until their potential is unlocked.

Uncle Ho
7 July 2009

Note: Weekly posting