The iron which fails to become steel is hated

Post 26 Mud cannot stick on the wall

Steel, which is harder and tougher than iron, is used in the manufacturing of cars, machines, tools, cutlery and many other products. It can only be formed by treating melted iron with intense heat and mixing it with carbon. Hence, when the iron is not refined by fire of extreme heat, it can never become steel.

Figuratively, a person who has not gone through hardship and hard work will never be able to portray an image of a real man. If he depends only on others for aids and is not willing to toil, he is the iron to be hated for failing to become steel. He is at best weak in character.

The moral lesson is that when a person is not able to stand on his own two feet despite of all the help given, he is like the mud that cannot stick on the wall. Even though it could, the adhesion would not be strong enough to last. The mud would finally drop off the wall after some time.

Both the expressions are used on people who fail to perform due to laziness, corruption, and lack of determination. As respect is earned and not demanded, a person who has diligence, integrity, and drive will be highly regarded by others.

It pays to steel oneself against all odds in life.

29 December 2009

Lend others your ears

Post 25 Listening is an art

“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears” as spoken by Mark Anthony in Julius Caesar Act 3, Scene 2 shows that in delivering a message, it is important for the audience to listen. The message can only be clearly understood when it is clearly heard.

The atmosphere during dinner parties or social gatherings is that of noise and excitement coupled with uproarious talk and laughter. Hence, there will be situation when both invited speakers and guests at a gathering speak at the same time. This is especially conspicuous when old classmates and friends meet again after decades of years. Speakers who are wise know how to keep their speeches short and concise to avoid the embarrassment of being ignored.

Listening is therefore an art. It is an etiquette which should be inculcated from young. It reflects the personality and self-restraint of a person. Listening is vital in personal, social and business relationships. A person who is impatient and does not listen to others may be deemed to be self-centred and is not interested to know what the others are saying. Listening is important in communication and in the fostering of mutual respect, understanding, trust, and acknowledgement. Listening gives others a special feeling of appreciation that at least someone is willing to listen.

A good listener makes a good conversationalist.

22 December 2009

It is always a joy talking to children

Post 24 Lessons on decision making

A regular little mischief came to my house for a visit and gave me a riddle, which he might have heard from somewhere, to solve. “Uncle, if there are 10 birds resting on a tree, and five of them decide to fly away, how many birds will there be left on the tree?’ he asked me with a cheeky smile. I suspected that this preschooler had kept something up his sleeve. Nevertheless, I gave him the answer, “Five!”

“Wrong! Uncle, the answer is ‘10’. The five which had decided to fly away earlier changed their minds and did not do so. Ha! Ha! Ha! ”, and the little mischief looked at me and walked away triumphantly.

The boy has taught me lessons on decision making. People may have decided to agree with you on an issue but there is no guarantee that their decision will not be changed. Therefore, before one decides whether or not to enter into a deal or believe in someone, one must find out more about the sincerity, trustworthiness, and commitment of the other party. People who brag unblushingly may sometimes go back to their word.

15 December 2009

Make things happen

Post 23 Any time means no time

This proverb means when an event is not planned ahead or confirmed, it will never take place. The event remains an empty talk. For example, when a friend tells us that he or she is able to meet us any time, it is very likely that the meeting will not take place because there is no forward planning and the date to meet has not been decided on. Hence, to make things happen there must be commitment on all parties.

In a fast moving society people are so busy with one thing or another that they have little time to spare for others. It is a challenge for these people to set aside some time for family members and friends. They can plan ahead and set a time frame to make things happen. ‘Any time’ is just another very common platitude, just as ‘I’m pleased to see you’ is.

An old man was discussing with a group of young people on the topic ‘time’. When one of them complained that he had had no time for many things because he was busy with his work all the time, the old man advised him to plan wisely for the things he wanted in life. He must determine what specific goal he wanted to achieve. “Don’t say you have no time and are not free. You’ll have all the ‘free time’ you want when you breathe your last!” said the old man.

Do make time for things to happen.


8 December 2009

The Goose and I

Post 22 What is good for the goose is good for the gander

When I was a little boy I was scared to go near the geese which were reared by my neighbour in the little town where I lived. The gaggle would charge at me sending me running for my life. I later learned that snakes are afraid of geese. Apparently the goose droppings would cause the body of snakes to rot leading to their death.

My other encounter with the goose was when I visited Hong Kong as an adult. I was brought to a restaurant famous for its delicious roast goose drumstick. It is interesting to note that the left roasted goose drumstick tastes better than that of the right one. I was told that when a goose sleeps, it stands on its left leg thereby toning up its muscles.

In school I learned that a male goose is a gander and the young of a goose is called a gosling. ‘What is good for the goose is good for the gander’ means that in a society, both males and females ought to be treated and rewarded the same way, using the same standard.

There is another similar proverb which is used in a general context, ‘What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.’ It means that if one person is allowed to behave in a certain way, then so is the other. There is no exception to the rule for anyone.

If what is good for the goose is good for the gander, then what is bad for the gander is also bad for the goose. This rule applies to all people.

1 December 2009