Learn when to say 'No'

Post 143 Saying ‘No’ can be difficult. In the 1990s, I attended a one-week motivational course which cost RM4, 800. I found it very useful because there was a lecture on learning to say ‘No’. ‘No’ can be a very difficult word to utter. Many people find it hard to turn down requests from others. In the end they end up shouldering other people’s problems. In fact when we know that we really are not able to help, we should say so politely. It is a joy and virtue to be able to help others. We should not be too egoistic as to refuse to give help to others at all. We do ask our friends for help once in a while. What is important is that we say ‘No’ with sincerity without offending others. By learning to say ‘No’ at the right time and occasion, we may find ourselves less pressurized. As a matter of courtesy, we should also learn not to burden others by asking them to bend rules to suit us. However for requests which are difficult to fulfill, we can explain to them gently why help cannot be extended to them. It is better to say ‘No’ first rather than holding on to problems which we cannot solve. Otherwise the nightmare will come when they start to call and ask for the progress of their requests. The word ‘No’ is short but one may take a long time to learn to say it. – Quote by Ho Nee Yong 15 May 2012