Logical thinking

Post 75 Love can be blind

Logic is the study of arguments. One who is logical is good at critical thinking. In any argument, one must use one's logicality to convince one's opponents. Nevertheless, at times a logical explanation is not needed and is conveniently overlooked.

A boy wanted to date his girlfriend out for dinner. She was to answer his question correctly before they would go out together. He put out his closed palm and asked her to guess what was inside the palm. The girl without thinking much said, “An elephant!” The boy thought for a moment and said, “Well, the answer is quite close. I shall buy you dinner.” This was glaringly an illogical answer! However, the flaw in her might not have seemed to be too great to the boy at that moment and he took no pain in correcting her.

On another aspect, parents who spoil their children without correcting their mistakes on the spot have overlooked the importance of discipline and that a stitch in time saves nine. The over-indulgence of parents on children breeds spoiled brats with behavioural problems. By not disciplining their children when there is a need to do so, they fit in well with the proverb: “Spare the rod and spoil the child”.

28 December 2010

What price a glance?

Post 74 A glance of honour (一顾之荣 yi gu zhi rong)

There was a man who was an expert in judging horses. He was affectionately called Bo Le (伯乐), the name of the star in charge of heavenly horses in ancient Chinese mythology.

Once there was a person who tried to sell his horse at the market but there was no buyer. After failing to strike a deal on three attempts, this person went to see Bo Le for help. He requested Bo Le to just cast a glance at his horse and, before leaving the market, turn back to briefly glance at the horse again. Bo Le followed the instruction of the man. Soon after Bo Le had left, there were many interested buyers who offered to pay ten times more for the horse.

Initially this metaphor was for someone who had gained more status after having some social graces with a famous personality. It is now used to describe the honour of having a distinguished guest gracing an occasion or visiting a place. When a distinguished guest like the Prime Minister visits a school, that school is being honoured by a glance.

21 December 2010

A wheeler-dealer

Post 73 To be professional in one’s dealings

A wheeler-dealer is an Informal term for one who bargains shrewdly or advances one's own interests by aggressive or unscrupulous behavior. There is a lack of professionalism in one’s business dealings. Hence a successful sales person always steers clear of the wheeler-dealer mentality.

Fan Li (范蠡) was an ancient Chinese advisor of ministerial rank. He later resigned, renamed himself Tao Zhugong (陶朱公) and became an icon in business management. His book on “Golden Rules of Business Success" (经商宝典) which includes Twelve Business Principles and Twelve Business Pitfalls remains relevant till today.

Tao Zhugong, a tycoon himself, was a man of principle who was against those who wheel and deal in a selfish and unscrupulous way. His first golden rule states that one must have the ability to know people’s character. A wheeler-dealer is easily detectable because he can fix anything for a price.

Tao also gave the advice that one should not give in to herd instinct which is the instinct to think and behave like the majority of people. This herd instinct is common in share markets.

A wheeler-dealer who is over zealous and canny in his business dealings may ruin his character.

14 December 2010

A pipe dream

Post 72 Dream of Southern Branch (南柯一梦)

In the Tang Dynasty (618 – 907), there was a man called Chunyu Fen who became drunk and dozed off under a scholartree on the southern part of his house. He dreamt that he was chosen to marry the princess of the King of the state of Scholartree. He became a governor for twenty years enjoying his glory and riches with his seven children who also did well in life. Unfortunately he lost everything when the King did not trust him anymore.

Chunyu Fen woke up to realize that he just had an illusory joy in his dream. He tried to look for the country he had been in his dream. He found that the so-called state of Scholartree was just an ant hole under the Scholartree on the southern end of his house. It was a pipe dream. What had happened to him in the dream was near impossible to achieve in real life.

One must learn to be positive, realistic and down to earth. It is wishful thinking to assume that one can be successful just by dreaming.

7 December 2010

Learning is the only way up

Post 71 Digital devices – a double-edged sword

Thomas L. Friedman wrote on 24 November 2010 that the most frightening news published in the Times on Sunday (21 Nov) was an article about how American kids are stepping up their use of digital devices. The following excerpt may be the epitome of many teenagers around the world:

“Allison Miller, 14, sends and receives 27,000 texts in a month, her fingers clicking at a blistering pace as she carries on as many as seven text conversations at a time. She texts between classes,......... while being driven to and from school and, often, while studying. But this proficiency comes at a cost: She blames multitasking for the three B’s on her recent progress report…. ”

I have seen many students who play video games, watch film shows, and texting during their waking hours every day when they should be concentrating on their studies. They do poorly in their examinations as the logical consequences of being off-tangent. They then make use of the defense mechanism of escapism by wasting more time on digital devices because they know they cannot not cope with their school work anymore. These students who lack good parenting and motivation to study pay heavily the price of not learning seriously when they fail in university entrance examinations.

The zeal in learning to acquire knowledge and critical thinking is the only way up in this competitive world flattened by globalization.

30 November 2010

One good deed is not enough

Post 70 For one swallow does not make a spring

Aristotle was a Greek philosopher, a student of Plato and teacher of Alexander the Great. He said, "For one swallow does not make a spring, nor does one sunny day." A swallow is a bird which makes its appearance during spring and migrates to warmer places in winter. This proverb means that one event does not mean that others will follow.

One cannot draw a valid conclusion from one instance. For example winning one game does not mean that one will win the tournament; a good deed done by an unethical person may not make him virtuous. In another aspect, one should not be over-excited over one’s little success but to make sure of one’s continued accomplishment.

Winston Churchill said: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Our initial success in any endeavour should motivate us to strive further for a purposeful and continuous habit of success. Always remember that one swallow does not make a summer, nor does one sunny day.


23 November 2010

The learning of dialects

Post 69 Mother-tongue

There was a piece of news in the Chinese daily saying that an expert in Hakka or Kejia dialect(客家方言) from Taiwan would be in Malaysia conducting Hakka lessons for young Malaysians who are from the Hakka clan in China. This is to ensure that the younger generation would not lose touch of their mother-tongue in a distant land.

Kejia dialect is one of the main sub-divisions of the Chinese language spoken widely in southern China by the Hakka people and their descendants throughout Taiwan, Southeast Asia and around the world.

John Milton (1608–1674) was the English poet in favour of elevating the status of English language and to phase off Latin which was an Italian language originally spoken in Latium and Ancient Rome. Latin is deemed to be a very difficult language to learn.

Richard Mulcaster (1531-1611), the High Master of St Paul's School in 1596, started a movement in making English as the language of learning in the English-speaking world; his love for the language led him to say:

“I love Rome, but London better, I favour Italy, but England more, I honour Latin, but worship English.”


16 November 2010
(9 November 2010- on vacation)

Silly talks

Post 68 A fool telling about his dream

Sun Yun of the Qing Dynasty (1644-1911) wrote in his 'Random Talks' the following amusing story:

A rich family had a dull-witted son. One morning when he got out of his bed, with eyes still heavy with sleep, he saw a maid who had gone into the room to look for something. He then caught hold of her hand and asked, “Did you see me in your dream last night?” The maid was puzzled at his question and answered, “No, I didn’t.”

He was very angry and retorted at her, “I am very sure that I saw you in my dream. How dare you tell me such a lie?” He then rushed to his mother and, holding on to the hem of her mother’s coat, yelled, “The maid must be punished. I definitely saw her in my dream, and yet she denied it. She has the intention to cheat on her master. This is ridiculous!”

In reality there are many people in the society who are like the foolish son talking nonsense. They promise their followers the earth or the moon in order to get what they want, but often fail to keep those promises.

2 November 2010

Manners makes a man or a woman

Post 67 Better good manners than good looks

Good manners encourages pleasant interpersonal relationships. Consideration for others, a polite smile, and a request instead of a demand, nearly always let one get better results. It is not only what one says and does but how one says and does things that matter. Good manners makes lasting impression out of a man or a woman.

There are rules of correct behavior which we must observe to show that we have manners. In public places like shopping malls, restaurants, hospitals, hotels, and airports, one should not make a nuisance of oneself by speaking loudly over one’s mobile phone, shouting at the top of one’s voice while engaging in a conversation, or squabbling over trifles.

The culture of a country can be reflected by the behaviour of its citizens. When people behave well at home, they will also manifest good manners wherever they go. It will be their habit to do so because they have been nurtured well. They will also be good ambassadors for the country when they go overseas as tourists or officials.

To be refined and courteous is to have self-respect.

26 October 2010

Blame not others for one's failure

Post 66 A bad workman quarrels with his tools

A workman who quarrels with his tools is a bad workman. He would try to blame the tools instead of his lack of skills in doing a job well. It is like a bad dancer who blames the floor for being uneven. One should try to improve oneself and learn how to do the job right.

A Danish proverb says that ‘Blame is a lazy man’s wages.’ A bad workman who quarrels with his tools is lazy because he does not take the initiative to improve himself. He does not fix the problem. There is a quote which says that “If you blame others for your failures, do you credit them with your success?”

There is a Chinese saying which I heard it from an elderly woman. She told me that it was no use having many knives all over your body if none of them was sharp. A sharp one would have been of better use than all the blunt ones. She was implying that one should be an expert in a field of one’s choice.

Make no excuses. Sharpen your tool of living skills.

19 October 2010

Do not worry unnecessarily

Post 65 Live a life today

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln

It is one's attitude towards life that matters. Indeed, optimists and pessimists look at life from a very different perspective. An optimist is seldom depressed whereas a pessimist expects something bad to happen.

There lived a man in the ancient state of Qi in China. He had a phobia that the sky might fall and the earth might cave in any time. He was so worried that he could neither eat nor sleep. He lived on borrowed troubles.

His friend told him that the sky was only a mass of gases and it would not fall. The earth was also only a mass of heaped soil and rocks where he could walk on. It would not cave in either. Having heard the explanation of his friend, the man of Qi finally was able to have peace of mind.

There is an English proverb of ”don't cross the bridge till you get to it" which advises one not to worry about things unnecessarily until they actually happen. One has enough trouble each day to worry about tomorrow. Hence, when one lives a life today, one focuses on what needs to be done to enrich the day.

Add life to your years. Let tomorrow be anxious of itself.

12 October 2010

To solve a problem at source

Post 64 Let him who tied the bell on the tiger take it off

This Chinese proverb means whoever started the trouble should end it. One should not be more concerned with stopping the bickering than settling the issue. One must get at the root of a problem.

In ancient China, the King of the state of Zhao had a capable Prime Minister and a courageous General serving under him. The General was jealous of the Prime Minister. He told others that he had to risk his life to earn him the rank. The Prime Minister just wagged his tongues to hold a higher position than he. So the General was looking for an opportunity to shame the Prime Minister.

Th Prime Minister explained to his close aides that he could not be seen to be at enmity towards the General. The state would be attacked by its enemy if they were not united.

When the words were relayed to the General, he felt ashamed of himself. He then bared his back, shouldered a thorny stick, and went to apologise to the Prime Minister. The General wanted the Prime Minister to beat him with the thorny stick, but the latter refused. Instead, the two became close friends.

The General 'tied the bell on the tiger' and took it off.

5 October 2010

Self-control

Post 63 Be the master of your heart

The Chinese character for ‘anger’ is written as 怒. It is composed of 奴 which means ‘slave’ and 心 meaning ‘heart’. When one gets angry, one becomes the slave of one’s heart. Self-control is needed for the anger in one’s heart to be subdued.

When one has love, one does not get angry. The traditional Chinese character for love is written as 愛. There is a heart (心) in the centre; above the heart are family members under the same roof; and below it friends (友). One loves them with one’s heart.

However, the traditional version of love (愛) has now been simplified to be written as 爱, with the heart (心）missing. There have now been calls by Chinese scholars to appeal to the Chinese government for the traditional version to be used again. They say, “How can one love without the heart?”

The word heart (心) is in the two Chinese characters: anger (怒) and love (愛). The former brings enmity while the latter, friendship.

28 September 2010

Go travelling

Post 62 Widen your horizon through travelling

When one has financial freedom, one can do many things. One can travel from place to place enjoying the beauties of nature; admiring different scenic spots; and widen one’s horizon. One needs to unwind oneself and be away from the pressure of work whenever there is an opportunity to do so. “It is better to see once than hear a hundred times”, so goes the Chinese saying.

The tour to Turkey was a lesson on history of religion and tolerance well learnt for me. It was also a journey which would impress tourists on what make a great statesman: patriotism, foresight and sagacity, courage, wisdom, and compassion. While politicians are plentiful, statesmen are few and far apart in the world.

John F. Kennedy speaking in Washington D.C., November 10, 1963 on the 25th commemoration of Mustafa Kemel Ataturk, the founder of Modern Turkey as: “The name of Ataturk brings to mind the historic accomplishments of one of the great men of this century, his inspired leadership of the Turkish People, his perceptive understanding of the modern world and his boldness as a military leader.”

Ataturk’s high expectation of educators are reflected in his following quotes:
“Teachers are the one and only people who save nations.”;
“Teachers: the new generation will be your devotion.”

21 September 2010

(Writer was away on vacation for two weeks)

The test of time

Post 61 A heart of gold

This was one of the lessons I learnt while I was in the primary school: As distance tests a horse’s strength, so time reveals a person’s heart. One will only know how strong a horse is by observing the distance it can cover. Similarly one will only know a person’s true colour after having been with him or her for a long time. Only time can tell whether one is our bosom friend or not.

Looking from another perspective, one may allude that the talent of a person manifests itself as time goes by. For example, the capability or the lack of it, of the one holding the reins of power is revealed through the way one plans and executes policies. Hence, if distance can test a horse’s strength, time will also tell us about one’s limitation in ability and intelligence.

Here is a Chinese platitude: “A man lives by his face and a tree, its bark.” Take away the outer appearances of a man and a tree, their innermost nature appears. One may know a person's face but not his heart. In times of stress when men become haters of good, one finds it difficult to have true friends.

A heart of gold is therefore even more to be desired than gold.

31 August 2010

Be there or be square

Post 60 A square peg in a round hole

A square is a shape that has four sides of equal length and four right angles. Thus, it can also mean fair or honest. When one is said to be fair and square, it is a compliment. However, the term ‘square’ can also denote slang for old-fashioned. One may be square and out of touch with modern trends. When one feels out of place at a boisterous party, one is a square peg in a round hole.

Children who have varied hobbies and are nurtured to be versatile in games and sports are live wires in social gatherings. They tend to be more popular than their peers who keep to themselves. They stand to be counted in the list of invited guests for meetings and parties. When friends transfer name lists to new diaries, people who are always ‘there’ are not likely to have their names deleted.

Different people have different personalities. Some have a very cheerful disposition while some others possess a quiet temperament. An extrovert and an introvert are of opposite characters. Nevertheless, it is best that one learns to adapt to different situations and mix around as far as possible. No man is an island.

Be fair and square is one of life’s principles. However, the choice of either to 'be there or be square' rests squarely on each individual.

24 August 2010

Comparison

Post 59 Riding a horse, a donkey, and on foot

This is a Chinese anecdote. A man riding a donkey saw a man riding a horse ahead of him. However, when he looked back, he saw a porter carrying things on a shoulder pole. He felt a moral victory in him because the porter was on foot. He was glad to be better off than the porter in comparison, though he was envious of the person in front. The attitude of the man on the donkey is natural and normal. People like to compare among themselves.

However, when one begins to compare with others on many things, one may become a victim of frustration and desperation. Life becomes miserable. If the porter were to be jealous of the man riding the donkey, who incidentally was also envious of the horse rider in front of him, there would then be a vicious cycle of conflicts and dissensions among the three of them.

Each individual has different talents. One ought to exploit one’s aptitude to the fullest without having to compare with others whose multiple intelligences are different. People should mutually encourage and respect one another for whoever and whatever they are, irrespective of social status.

In this competitive world, high achievers are targets of jealousy; even friends may feel resentful at not being able to be as successful as they are.

Fame portends trouble for those who boast and set off a chain of comparison.

17 August 2010

Be earnest and down-to-earth

Post 58 Have one’s feet planted on solid ground

A good and sure way of gaining success is to have both an ambitious goal and a down-to-earth style of work. One who is unrealistic tends to build castles in the air. One who hopes to reap without sowing is not earnest and practical in making one’s life fulfilling. It is even worse and disgraceful when one demands to profit by other people’s toil.

To succeed in one’s endeavour, the beginning is always the most difficult. One must therefore plan one’s strategies. Execute them with patient endurance and be down-to-earth. Success is progressive and not instant. Only by having one’s feet planted on solid ground can one begin to advance gradually. With perseverance, an iron pestle can even be ground down to a needle.

On another aspect, children who are taught to know the value of money will not spend without restraint when they grow up. They will be down-to-earth in their financial planning. Hence it is not their habit to throw money about like dirt, even though they are rich.

Be earnest and down-to-earth. The ground is solid enough for everyone to stand on!

10 August 2010

Table manners

Post 57 Observe correct social behaviour at meals

Table manners are the ways how a person behaves when eating a meal, especially with regard to proper social behaviour. Both good and atrocious table manners are the results of family education or the lack of it. One who is properly brought up has good table manners.

When my siblings and I were young, our mother taught us how to hold chopsticks correctly. We have her to thank for because of the skill acquired. Other lessons on table manners taught to us were: not to speak when our mouth is full; refrain from speaking loudly; and both hands must always be on the table while eating.

We were specifically told not to make noise while eating or drinking soup. This is in contrast with the Japanese who make slurping noises while eating noodles, to show that they enjoy the food they are eating. Though different cultures have different rules, there are still certain social behaviours which are universally applicable.

Of all table manners, putting one’s chair in after meals is etiquette much to be appreciated, irrespective of social class or group.


3 August 2010

Tit for tat

Post 56 Shave others’ heads and one’s head will also be shaved by others

This Chinese saying has its equivalent in ‘Tit for tat’ which means to retaliate in kind. It is an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. When one puts others on the spot and makes them feel ashamed for their shortcomings, one must be prepared that one day it will be one’s turn to be humiliated.

The saying reminds one to stop before going too far; let others be able to back down with good grace for their follies. If there is reason for forgiveness, do not make others look for a place to crawl into to hide their shame.

When one achieves success when young, one must not consider everybody and everything beneath one’s notice. Remember that beyond a high mountain, there will be another one with a greater height. However strong one is, there is always someone stronger.

If one must shave others’ heads, do it at one's own peril.

27 July 2010

An Empty tin and a piece of coin

Post 55 Empty vessels make the most noise

During one of my Civics lessons in primary school, our lady teacher asked a boy from the class to put a coin inside an empty tin she was holding. She then told the boy to shake the tin as hard as he could. The whole classroom was then filled with the rattling noise in the tin. We were wondering what the teacher was trying to teach us that day.

She explained to the class that a learned man who is humble speaks wisely; the thoughtless often speak the most without any substance. They do not have much between their ears. They have inferiority complex and just want to be seen and heard. The class might not have understood our teacher fully at that time. Nevertheless, her message surely rings a bell in me whenever I see an empty tin.

A man of great wisdom speaks in a rational and convincing way; whereas words of rattlebrains are utterly devoid of substance. Hence, one ought to learn not to indulge in parading one’s limited knowledge or smartness.

Sometimes the best part lies in what is left unsaid.

20 July 2010

Yi Zun Jiujiao

Post 54 Go to someone for advice

This is the Chinese saying which means taking one's wine cup to another person's table to humbly seek his advice. By doing so it shows that one is willing to take the initiative to approach and learn from others. Anyone who does not feel ashamed to ask and learn from even one's subordinates has this attitude of Yi Zun Jiujiao.

Julius Caesar was a Roman general and politician of great character and intelligence. He said, "Experience is the teacher of all things." Indeed, when we Yi Zun Jiujiao, we are reaping the vast experiences of our mentors. The sum of their experiences is much greater than the part in us.

One who is conceited thinks highly of oneself. When one considers oneself as no ordinary being, it is not easy for one to want to go to someone for advice. However, we should always remember that one loses by pride and gains by modesty. The humble sees others better than himself.

An unknown author says, "Swallow your pride occasionally; it's non-fattening!"

13 July 2010

Lions and ants

Post 53 The reality of life

A Cambodian friend told me this anecdote about lions and ants while sending me off at the airport. He said that a dead lion is powerless. Even small insects like ants gather to eat the eyes of a dead lion without fear. When asked why the eyes are eaten, my friend said that eyes are soft and juicy.

A lion may fight with its claws and menacing looking teeth, but not for long. A day will come when the lion will look pathetic. Those parts of the body will be rendered useless when the lion is old or dead. The authority of a lion over other animals is awe-inspiring only when its strength can still be demonstrated.

Ants live in highly organised colonies. They can carry blades of grass back to the nest through team work. As an individual ant, it is insignificant. However as ants congregate, they become a force to be reckoned with.

The moral lesson here is that both the power and fearsome look of a person disappear when he is out of favour or old. This is the reality of life.


6 July 2010

Never give up in life

Post 52 The bull must be taken by the horns

In Spain and South America, bullfighters parade before the crowds in the bullring with courage. They know that they may be badly or fatally gored if they miscalculate their steps. However, the risk of being hurt does not deter them from indulging in the traditional spectator sport, in which bulls are baited and usually killed in arena.

For one to dare hold a bull by its horns needs courage and perseverance. This phrase shows that one should face failures or difficulties in life with full confidence without trying to shun them. For example, a person who started a new business after his previous venture failed had taken the bull by the horns. He had taken the calculated risks again. However, with determination, right strategy and experience, his business would ultimately succeed.

Failure is the mother of success and every failure is a precious lesson learnt. What matters is that one should not give up easily. A person might not have realised how close to success he was when he gave up. Thomas Edison could have failed after 10,000 experiments; but he took the bull by the horns and finally succeeded in developing the electric light bulb.

29 June 2010

Leading an easy life

Post 51 Be waited on hand and foot

When one is waited on hand and foot, one has only to open one’s mouth to be fed and hold out one’s hands to be dressed. One then is able to lead an easy life, with everything provided for. However, there is always a tendency for a person to be a spendthrift when he is waited on hand and foot. To avoid being a wastrel, he must therefore learn to appreciate the value of everything that he has.

In reality almost all parents have high expectation of their off springs. As such they try their best to create an environment of being waited on hand and foot for their children. They would rather their children only concentrate on their studies, without having to do any house work. This has deprived their children the opportunity to learn everyday practical life.

On another aspect, there is also the likelihood that people who suddenly become rich or important would throw money about like dirt. They begin to lead an easy life and may forget their roots. The windfall helps to expose their strengths or weaknesses in character. This also applies to richly endowed nations which rush to deplete their natural resources and wealth as if tomorrow never comes. They live luxuriously on overdraft from their future generations.

22 June 2010

Speak with grace

Post 50 To speak kindly does not hurt the tongue

This proverb tells us much about how one’s conversation with others should be. Any conversation that is seasoned with salt will have an edifying and lasting effect. It is also said that kind words are worth much and they cost little. As what we say comes out from our heart, our speech reflects what kind of a person we are.

There is a Chinese proverb which says that a word once spoken cannot be overtaken even by a team of four horses. What is said therefore cannot be unsaid. Hence, one must weigh one’s words before uttering them lest they may be hurting to others. Silence is golden can be applied when one’s tactlessness in speech may cause offence.

When one speaks with grace, one cannot be the party in an argument. It takes two to make a quarrel. A gracious person will also not be an aggressive person who likes to pick a quarrel. Hence, in a society where there is harmony between man and man, all are at peace with one another.

The Butterfly Effect starts from individuals whose attitude in speaking kindly can be emulated by others.


15 June 2010

The buffalo of Wu pants at the sight of the moon

Post 49 An extreme fear of something

There was a Minister who served under Emperor Wu of the Jin Dynasty. He was scared of exposing himself to wind and felt very uncomfortable to have wind blown against him. Once he had an audience with the emperor who told him to sit by a window. There were a few transparent screens shielding the seat from the wind.

Apparently as the screens were transparent, it gave an impression that the wind was blowing in from the window. The minister who had a phobia about wind hesitated to take his seat offered by the emperor. His facial expression showed that he had an extreme fear of something which the emperor was not aware of.

Emperor Wu then smiling asked his minister what it was all about. The minister then answered, “I am like a buffalo from Wu that mistook the moon for the sun and panted as if the heat was there.”

This idiom is used to describe someone who is extremely scared of something.

8 June 2010

Backbone

Post 48 Strength of character

A person who works hard to earn an honest living has backbone; whereas a person who expects handouts from others is in want of it. It is even more pitiful when a person tries to profit by other people’s toil.

In order to manifest our strength of character, we must have the attitude of wanting to excel in whatever we do. The culture of self-reliance and self-respect must be present. Success has much to do with our perspective in life. We can choose to muddle along and be mediocre and incompetent, or commit ourselves to working diligently with enthusiasm. We can choose to walk tall or blame others for our failures.

Respect is earned not demanded. It is the attributes like kindness, integrity, determination, diligence and forbearance which earn a person respect from others. We need people with such qualities to make this world a better place to live in.

Take a positive attitude, be inspired, and be committed in our endeavours. Life will then become meaningful.


1 June 2010

Mr Fine

Post 47 One who tries not to offend anybody

During the Eastern Han Dynasty (AD 25-220) in China, there was a man by the name of Sima Hui who was known to have never spoken ill of others. He would agree with whatever the others had said. Everything was fine to him.

Once Sima Hui encountered an acquaintance who asked him, “How have you been, sir?” He said, “Fine.” On another occasion, an old friend who was grief-stricken visited him in his home. This old friend said that his son had died. However, much to his surprise Sima Hui unexpectedly told him, “That’s fine.”

His wife was so angry that she chastised her husband after the old friend had left. She said,” Your friend told you what was on his mind thinking that you were a man of integrity and virtue. Why then must you say “That’s fine” when he told you that his son had died?” On hearing the words of his wife, Sima Hui nonchalantly said, “Fine. What you have just said is also fine!” Sima Hui then became known as Mr Fine because he was one who did not want to offend anybody.

Mr Fine is definitely not fine as a leader. If he chairs a meeting, there will be no decision made.

25 May 2010

When the hare dies, the fox is grieved

Post 46 To have sympathy with people of the same fate

Long time ago, an old man saw a fox weeping in a jungle and asked why he cried. The fox answered by saying that his friend, the hare, was killed by a hunter. In between sobs, the fox said that the next to be hunted down would be him. How could he not feel sad? The old man then sighed and said that fellow sufferers would surely commiserate with each other.

Hares are not carnivores or flesh-eating animals; foxes are. When hares die, foxes will have meat to eat. Why then should foxes grieve when hares die? The fact is that both hares and foxes are hunting targets of human beings. So when hares die, foxes will become the next target for hunters. There is every reason for foxes to feel anxious. However, no matter whether hares and foxes are enemies or friends, they cannot escape the fate of being chased and hunted.

This Chinese idiom is therefore used to show that when a person of the same fate dies, the others will worry about the imminent danger or misfortune befalling them.

Self-pity came so naturally for the fox.

18 May 2010

A comical scholar

Post 45 Fall behind Sun Shan

Sun Shan was a gifted scholar during the Song dynasty in China more than 1,000 years ago. He was humorous and good at cracking jokes. His friends called him the ‘comical scholar’.

Once he went to sit for a competitive examination in Beijing. Together with him sitting for the same examination was the son of a man from the same village. When the results were out, Sun Shan was successful. However, his name was last on the list of successful candidates. The son of the villager did not get through.

When Sun Shan reached home, the man from the same village asked him whether his son had passed the examination. Sun Shan found it difficult to break the bad news to him. Casually Sun Shan then blurted out a short poem:

‘The last on the passing list is me, Sun Shan
However, the name of your son falls behind Sun Shan.”

Since then the idiom ‘fall behind Sun Shan’ is used to refer to candidates who have failed in their examinations.

11 May 2010

A hanger-on

Post 44 ‘Parasitic guests’

In ancient China there was a group of so-called ‘advisers’ employed to serve and entertain their masters as ‘parasitic guests’ or Shike. They were different from persuasive ‘lobbyists’ or Shuike, another group of people who were employed for their gift of the gab.

These ‘parasitic guests’ were considered by some people to be opportunists. They sponged on or acted as a hanger-on of an aristocrat. A hanger-on is someone who associates with an important person for gain. Sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference between a real friend and a hanger-on. An aristocrat, on the other hand, is a nobleman or a member of a hereditary ruling class. Hence, when these two classes of people worked together, they acted out a display of hypocrisy and flattery.

When their services were required, these ‘parasitic guests’ would also represent their masters in entertaining VIPs. Whenever there were feasts being held, they could expect to be counted to sit among close friends and relatives of their masters. ‘Parasitic guests’ existed more than 2,500 years ago. Do you think they exist today in our society, albeit in a different name?

4 May 2010

Water is precious

Post 43 We never miss the water till the well runs dry

In her book, Desert Flower, which was at one time the top international bestseller, Waris Dirie talked of how precious water was to her:

“When I was growing up in Somalia, we appreciate the simple things in life. We celebrated the rain because that meant we had water. Who in New York worries about water? Let it run from the tap while you walk away and do something else in the kitchen. It’s always there when you need it…It’s when you don’t have something that you appreciate it, and since we had nothing, we appreciate everything.”

When one seriously thinks of those staying in places where people have to walk for hours each day to get water, one has to learn not to waste water, even though it is free for fixed units of water used. It is to be remembered that in any drought, the lack of rainfall means that farmlands will not produce their yields. Food will become expensive and the soaring prices will then hit at everyone’s pocket.

In the early months of 2010, China experienced a severe drought when temperatures and rainfall were at their worst levels since the 1950s. Eighteen million people and eleven million livestock were affected. This is a case of “We never miss the water till the well runs dry”.

27 April 2010

Big mouth

Post 42 Foot-in-the-mouth

Literally speaking when one’s mouth is big enough to put one’s foot in, be it the left or the right foot, one has a big mouth. Hence, when a person puts his foot in his mouth, he embarrasses himself by saying the wrong thing. One must learn to think twice before speaking lest one might make a mockery of oneself.

A national leader’s words at the critical moment might affect the rise and fall of his country. The Chinese saying of "Words wisely spoken would be powerful enough to cause a nation rise, and words rashly spoken would also be strong enough to make a nation fall" is frequently used to warn leaders not to put their foot in their mouth.

When Shakespeare wants characters to learn the truth about what they really are, he sends them to the woods to do some soul searching. It is in the forest and its natural setting that there is ‘good in everything’. Here is an excerpt from As You Like It –Act II Scene II: “Find tongues in trees, books in running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. I would not change it.”

The foot-in-the-mouth specimens ought to learn to keep their big mouth shut until they know what they are talking about.

20 April 2010

Do not overstay your welcome

Post 41 A constant guest is never welcome

This is a Spanish proverb. Its equivalent in English is ‘Constant company wears out its welcome’. Generally people like to have their friends’ company once in a while. However if their friends’ visitation is too frequent, they tend to be wary of their presence.

A visitor who stays for weeks in a friend’s house is not only a nuisance but inconsiderate. Leaving your host wanting more of your presence is better than overstaying your welcome. The social etiquette requires one to be understanding and not to impose too much time and effort on the host.

In any organisation, leaders who have occupied top posts must know when to retreat. This is to allow the next echelon of leaders to be nurtured. Thus, leaders should not forcibly occupy top posts for too long when their contributions are no more needed. To continue to be reluctant to part with their posts, these overbearing people have at best overstayed their welcome.

Hence, to be able to resolutely retire at the height of one’s official career is wisdom personified. When the time comes for retirement, one should do so gracefully so as not to hinder others of a chance for promotion.

13 April 2010

A fair-weather friend

Post 40 A friend in need is a friend indeed

When you have a group of wine-and-meat friends, you have fair-weather friends. A fair-weather friend is one who is always with you when times are good but disappears when you are in difficulty. There are many fair-weather friends around but bosom friends are few and far in between in life.

When fair-weather friends desert a friend who is in distress, a very common platitude that will be said of these wine-and-meat friends is “they have changed’. Have they really changed when they left that friend at the time when help was needed? No, they have not changed. The misfortune of their friend only magnifies and manifests the true nature of these fair-weather friends. They have shown their true colours at the most opportune moment.

Hence, one may know a person’s face but not his heart. Fame, wealth and social status do not change a person’s innate nature. Sometimes a seemingly humble and gentle person may become arrogant and hot-tempered when high position and great wealth are at hand. However, this is not true for one who was born innately good. Under all circumstances, be it in riches or in poverty, one’s humility and kindness remain. Suffice it to say for one to have a few bosom friends as true friends are hard to come by. Fair-weather friends in abundance are not a blessing. As the saying goes:

Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find one good you must a hundred try. -- Claude Mermet

6 April 2010

The stinking number 9

Post 39 What price a profession?

During the thirteenth century, the Yuan dynasty under the rule of the Mongolians divided the occupation of the people into ten different rankings as follows:

1. Government officers
2. Officials (Government employees who could not be promoted to the rank of officers)
3. Monks (Buddhist monks)
4. Dao (Taoist)
5. Medical doctors
6. Senior Technicians
7. Craftsmen
8. Prostitutes
9. Scholars (Intellectuals)
10. Beggars

It was an irony that the intelligentsia who were well-educated, cultured, and highly respected by the traditional Chinese society would be graded to be inferior to prostitutes and only slightly better than beggars during the Mongolian rule.

As scholars are ranked at the ninth placing out of ten, people will call scholars whom they do not like the ‘stinking number 9’.

30 March 2010

There is life after work

Post 38 Snatch a little leisure from a busy life

In a meeting at the Ministry where I worked for in the 1990s, those of us who attended the meeting were each given a photocopy of an article on ‘There is life after work’ by the Chairman. We were told that if we do our work efficiently and effectively, there is no necessity for us to work overtime. He asked us to go back after work and do some exercise or spend quality time with our family members.

A CEO of a multi-national company remarked that it is crazy for anyone to work even on weekends. He said, ‘Sundays are meant for the birds’ implying that only birds have still to go out and look for food on Sundays. He wanted his staff to snatch a little leisure from a busy life. If possible, they should not be workaholics who are so obsessively addicted to work.

An elderly man used to tell the young people he knew not to give the excuse that they had no time. He said that life is what one wants it to be. A person will have all the time he wants when he kicks the bucket.

Generally when we manage our time well and make life simple, we do not have to rush through life at the expense of our health.


23 March 2010

Decision-making

Post 37 Know when to advance and retreat

In a battle or game, one is free to advance or retreat. At times one may be caught in a dilemma. It is vital at this crucial time that one has the ability to make a quick and wise decision. A person who is indecisive will lose out to his or her opponent who can resolutely make a split-second decision.

Decision-making is the result of having selected the best choice available. A candidate who has lost in an election, for example, must know whether to continue to contest again. If one knows and understands that it is time to call it a day and does so, one has made a wise decision to avoid suffering from further humiliation.

A good leader is able to make appropriate and timely decisions. This is only possible when the leader is experienced and has gathered enough up-to-date information for analysis. He is a problem-solver because he reads the situation well and he thinks out of the box.

To be successful in one’s career, one must learn the skill in decision-making. Limping on two opinions when a decision has to be made is the manifestation of one’s weakness in character and leadership.

20 March 2010 (Uncle Ho was on vacation from 15-18 March.)

Try not to regret something that cannot be undone

Post 36 No use crying over spilt milk

“To err is human, to forgive divine” advises us to forgive others because all people are human and make mistakes. Similarly if we have made mistakes, we must learn not to repeat them. We should not be unduly affected because there is no point regretting something that had already been done.

For one not to be always in the situation of wanting to cry over spilt milk, one has to learn to be knowledgeable, wise, sensible, humble and receptive to constructive criticism. Learning is a lifelong process. As one goes through life, one ought to learn to be more cautious in one’s deeds and words. In this way there will be nothing for one to feel remorseful of.

Some people get depressed because they could not get over the mistakes which they have made. They should learn not to brood on something that cannot be undone. Instead they should find ways to make amend to their wrong doings. Indeed it takes courage for one to admit that one has erred as much as it takes one to be magnanimous enough to forgive.

Forget the past and move forward.

9 March 2010

Broaden one's horizons

Post 35 Travel as much as you can

My late mother used to tell us to travel as widely as we could afford. She strongly believed that travelling not only widens one’s horizons, it also makes one more tolerant of people with diverse cultural backgrounds. The profound insight one gains through travelling will allow one to think out of the box and be more broad-minded.

Marco Polo was an icon in travelling and his writing on the journey to the East via the Silk Road was a gem to the travelogue. He had helped to unveil the mystery of the East to the West. With the ease of travelling in this globalised world, people ought to regard travelling as a way to learn from and to foster better understanding with others outside of their own boundary.

While backpacking is the word used to describe the lifestyle of the modern traveller who travels light and on budget, flashpacking refers to the affluent backpacker who has the extra money to travel in comfort.

No matter how one travels, the joy and the experience gained are the intrinsic values which cannot be measured in the monetary term.

8 March 2010 (This article was to have been posted on 2 March)

As cool as cucumber

Post 34 Keep your cool

Since the days I was taught Figures of Speech in school, I have inculcated an interest in this part of the English language. The most commonly used Figures of Speech are ‘Similes’ and ‘Metaphors’. They add variety to written as well as spoken expression of the language.

Some common similes in common everyday use which I have associated with my life experiences are: as clear as crystal, as easy as A.B.C., as fresh as sea breeze, as loud as a horn, as rough as a storm, as shapeless as an old shoe and many others. However, I have special attachment to the one on ‘as cool as cucumber’.

It is always very cooling and comfortable when, after sleeping for many hours on a pillow, one turns it over and sleeps on the other side. The similes of ‘as cool as cucumber’ can then be changed to ‘as cool as the other side of the pillow’. It aptly describes the cool feeing of one lying on a cool pillow.

It is an art for one to be able to keep cool under pressure or criticism. One ought to take things calmly and not be overcome with emotion. When one learns how to remain unruffled in times of stress and strain, one’s problems will be solved more rationally.

Keep your cool and you will be a happier and healthier person.


23 February 2010

Value judgment

Post 33 Leaving money behind after having eaten the dates

During the Song dynasty, there was a man by the name of Cha Dao (查道) who was on the way to visit his relatives at a distant place. During lunch time he and his servant were hungry and there was no eating place around. His servant then suggested that some food brought along by them to be given to the relatives be taken out to be eaten.

However Cha Dao objected and said, “How can we do that since the food is meant to be given as gifts to others? We must be trustworthy.”

When the hungry duo finally reached a date orchard, they wasted no time picking some of the dates to fill their stomach. After they had had their fill, Cha Dao took out a string of money and hung it on the tree from which they had picked the dates.

The servant then asked his master, “Why are you doing this? After all the owner is not here and nobody would have seen us.”

Cha Dao then said to his servant, “Though the owner may not be here and no one could have seen us, it is our moral obligation to be trustworthy. Now that we have eaten the dates, we ought to pay for them.”

Nevertheless, the action of Cha Dao picking the dates without permission may still be questionable.

16 February 2010

A straight line and a circle

Post 32 Encouraging learning

Xunzi was an ancient philosopher and educationist whose essay on Encourage Learning written 2000 years ago is still applicable today. A small part of its contents is discussed here for our mutual encouragement.

A piece of wood can become perfectly straight if it is planed according to the line marked by the inked measuring string. When the same piece of wood is treated with heat to make it look like a wheel, then its roundness should befit that of a circle drawn by a pair of compasses.

If the same piece of wood were to be heated again or be dried under the scorching sun, it will never become straight again. This is so because that piece of wood has been processed to make it round.

Xunzi was trying to put forward his view that the environmental factor is important in making a person to be knowledgeable. Just like a knife and a sword can only become sharp when they are grinded on stones, one must therefore be steadfast in one’s learning and go through countless difficulties and hardships to excel in life.

Knowledge is accumulated day by day in lifelong learning.

9 February 2010

An amusing play on words

Post 31 The ability to express oneself in a humorous way

During the Tang Dynasty ( 618 - 907 ), there was a child prodigy by the name of Liu Yan (刘晏). When he was eight years old, he was summoned to have an audience with the then Emperor Tang Xuan Zong (唐玄宗). The emperor was so impressed with the talent of Liu Yan that he appointed the boy genius to the post of what we call ‘editor’ today.

Once when the ten-year-old Liu Yan was summoned to the palace, he was asked by the emperor, “In regular writings, how many words can be written neatly and correctly?”

Liu Yan then answered," All the words under heaven can be written well, except for the word 'friends’ (朋 ) which can never be written properly.”

There is punning on the word ‘friends’ which has a double meaning here. When Liu Yan specifically mentioned the word ‘friends’, he was insinuating that when cronies or close friends were given special privileges at the expense of justice and fair play, the word ‘friends’ could never be written correctly and rightly. It will look crooked no matter how it is written.

By manifesting a keen insight into matters like corruption and favouritism at the age of ten, Liu Yan had shown himself to be a child of extraordinary charm and wit.

2 February 2010

Hamlet's glass

Post 30 Speaking out from a sense of justice

William Shakespeare’s play, Hamlet, has this famous dialogue where Prince Hamlet chastised his unfaithful mother, Gertrude:

Hamlet: Come, Come, and sit you down; you shall not budge.
You go not until I set you up a glass
Where you may see the inmost part of you. (Act III, scene iv)

A glass is a mirror here. Prince Hamlet wanted to avenge on behalf of his father who was murdered by his uncle who then married Hamlet’s mother, Gertrude. The mirror Hamlet forces his mother to see reflects, "such black and grained spots as will not leave their tinct" (Act III, scene iv). Hamlet wanted his mother to look in the glass to see how she had betrayed her husband, his father.

The ‘Hamlet mirror’ enabled Gertrude to see how sinful and cruel she had been. In this case it was Prince Hamlet who listed out the sins of his mother. He did not harbour her mother, an evildoer and cover up her evil deeds.

Hamlet was speaking out from a sense of justice and to his mother who seemed to have no compunction (remorse, guilt or regret) about betraying her husband.

26 January 2010

How to remove the blind spots in us?

Post 29 Using human as a mirror

A blind spot has two meanings. It can refer to either an area a motorist cannot see or a lack of understanding of a subject or matter. To remove the blind spots in us is to remove our weaknesses which we cannot see, and our ignorance which reflects badly on our personality.

There is an old Chinese saying regarding ‘mirrors’, of which its literal translation is as follows:

Using bronze as a mirror, one is able to adjust one’s attire;
Using history as a mirror, one is able to know the rise and fall of an empire;
Using human as a mirror, one is able to see the success and failure of a person.

Take time to also ponder on this ancient wisdom:

A man of noble character does not use water as a mirror but uses human as a mirror. When water is used as a mirror, what can be seen is appearance; whereas ‘human mirror’ enables one to differentiate right from wrong.

Read widely, socialise wisely, and learn from others humbly, and one will know where one’s blind spots are.

19 January 2010

A blind spot

Post 28 Counting the number of buffaloes while riding on one

When I was in the primary school in the 1950s, there was one lesson which was unforgettable. It had to do with the counting of buffaloes. A buffalo is a large Asian and African animal of the cattle family, with long flattish curved horns.

There was this boy who herded ten buffaloes for the first time. After some time out in the field, he was counting the number of buffaloes while riding on one. The boy counted that there were only nine in the field and thought that there was one missing. He panicked and alighted from the buffalo he was riding and counted again. Much to his relief, there were exactly ten buffaloes.

Just before the boy left for home, he counted the number of buffaloes again. However, he was puzzled that there were again only nine left in the field. He then quickly alighted from his buffalo to count again. This time the number of buffaloes became ten instead of nine. He scratched his head and said, “Why were there only nine buffaloes in the field when I counted them while riding on a buffalo? And when I alighted and counted, there were ten.” The boy had the lack of understanding on how to count correctly. He had a blind spot about Arithmetic.

Widen your horizon in life and more blind spots will depart from you.

12 January 2010

Have you heard of 'Timbuktu'?

Post 27 ‘From here to Timbuktu’

I first heard of the word ‘Timbuktu’ when I was just a primary school boy. To me it sounded exactly like ‘throwing stones’ as spoken in the Chinese Hokkien dialect in my hometown. It was only during one Geography lesson in the secondary school that the word ‘Timbuktu’ began to ring a bell. It is a city in the West African nation of Mali, and has been deemed to be the birth place of one of the first universities in the world.

In the West it has been for long that ‘from here to Timbuktu’ represents a metaphor for forsaken places or distant lands. When one is told to go to Timbuktu, one is asked to go to a far away and deserted place. It will be interesting to know whether the younger generation is familiar with the word ‘Timbuktu’ or is that a word which is far off and alien to them. With the ease of air travel and the availability of the internet, nowhere in this globalised world is remote any more.

In life one cannot expect to understand everything that is known. No single person can master the sum of human knowledge because it is humanly impossible. However, through much reading and travelling, one is able to gain a good general knowledge. The time and effort spent in acquiring knowledge give the best returns in terms of intrinsic values because knowledge makes a man.

Be a learned person who is conversant with things past and present.

5 January 2010