Post 67 Better good manners than good looks
Good manners encourages pleasant interpersonal relationships. Consideration for others, a polite smile, and a request instead of a demand, nearly always let one get better results. It is not only what one says and does but how one says and does things that matter. Good manners makes lasting impression out of a man or a woman.
There are rules of correct behavior which we must observe to show that we have manners. In public places like shopping malls, restaurants, hospitals, hotels, and airports, one should not make a nuisance of oneself by speaking loudly over one’s mobile phone, shouting at the top of one’s voice while engaging in a conversation, or squabbling over trifles.
The culture of a country can be reflected by the behaviour of its citizens. When people behave well at home, they will also manifest good manners wherever they go. It will be their habit to do so because they have been nurtured well. They will also be good ambassadors for the country when they go overseas as tourists or officials.
To be refined and courteous is to have self-respect.
26 October 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Blame not others for one's failure
Post 66 A bad workman quarrels with his tools
A workman who quarrels with his tools is a bad workman. He would try to blame the tools instead of his lack of skills in doing a job well. It is like a bad dancer who blames the floor for being uneven. One should try to improve oneself and learn how to do the job right.
A Danish proverb says that ‘Blame is a lazy man’s wages.’ A bad workman who quarrels with his tools is lazy because he does not take the initiative to improve himself. He does not fix the problem. There is a quote which says that “If you blame others for your failures, do you credit them with your success?”
There is a Chinese saying which I heard it from an elderly woman. She told me that it was no use having many knives all over your body if none of them was sharp. A sharp one would have been of better use than all the blunt ones. She was implying that one should be an expert in a field of one’s choice.
Make no excuses. Sharpen your tool of living skills.
19 October 2010
A workman who quarrels with his tools is a bad workman. He would try to blame the tools instead of his lack of skills in doing a job well. It is like a bad dancer who blames the floor for being uneven. One should try to improve oneself and learn how to do the job right.
A Danish proverb says that ‘Blame is a lazy man’s wages.’ A bad workman who quarrels with his tools is lazy because he does not take the initiative to improve himself. He does not fix the problem. There is a quote which says that “If you blame others for your failures, do you credit them with your success?”
There is a Chinese saying which I heard it from an elderly woman. She told me that it was no use having many knives all over your body if none of them was sharp. A sharp one would have been of better use than all the blunt ones. She was implying that one should be an expert in a field of one’s choice.
Make no excuses. Sharpen your tool of living skills.
19 October 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Do not worry unnecessarily
Post 65 Live a life today
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln
It is one's attitude towards life that matters. Indeed, optimists and pessimists look at life from a very different perspective. An optimist is seldom depressed whereas a pessimist expects something bad to happen.
There lived a man in the ancient state of Qi in China. He had a phobia that the sky might fall and the earth might cave in any time. He was so worried that he could neither eat nor sleep. He lived on borrowed troubles.
His friend told him that the sky was only a mass of gases and it would not fall. The earth was also only a mass of heaped soil and rocks where he could walk on. It would not cave in either. Having heard the explanation of his friend, the man of Qi finally was able to have peace of mind.
There is an English proverb of ”don't cross the bridge till you get to it" which advises one not to worry about things unnecessarily until they actually happen. One has enough trouble each day to worry about tomorrow. Hence, when one lives a life today, one focuses on what needs to be done to enrich the day.
Add life to your years. Let tomorrow be anxious of itself.
12 October 2010
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln
It is one's attitude towards life that matters. Indeed, optimists and pessimists look at life from a very different perspective. An optimist is seldom depressed whereas a pessimist expects something bad to happen.
There lived a man in the ancient state of Qi in China. He had a phobia that the sky might fall and the earth might cave in any time. He was so worried that he could neither eat nor sleep. He lived on borrowed troubles.
His friend told him that the sky was only a mass of gases and it would not fall. The earth was also only a mass of heaped soil and rocks where he could walk on. It would not cave in either. Having heard the explanation of his friend, the man of Qi finally was able to have peace of mind.
There is an English proverb of ”don't cross the bridge till you get to it" which advises one not to worry about things unnecessarily until they actually happen. One has enough trouble each day to worry about tomorrow. Hence, when one lives a life today, one focuses on what needs to be done to enrich the day.
Add life to your years. Let tomorrow be anxious of itself.
12 October 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
To solve a problem at source
Post 64 Let him who tied the bell on the tiger take it off
This Chinese proverb means whoever started the trouble should end it. One should not be more concerned with stopping the bickering than settling the issue. One must get at the root of a problem.
In ancient China, the King of the state of Zhao had a capable Prime Minister and a courageous General serving under him. The General was jealous of the Prime Minister. He told others that he had to risk his life to earn him the rank. The Prime Minister just wagged his tongues to hold a higher position than he. So the General was looking for an opportunity to shame the Prime Minister.
Th Prime Minister explained to his close aides that he could not be seen to be at enmity towards the General. The state would be attacked by its enemy if they were not united.
When the words were relayed to the General, he felt ashamed of himself. He then bared his back, shouldered a thorny stick, and went to apologise to the Prime Minister. The General wanted the Prime Minister to beat him with the thorny stick, but the latter refused. Instead, the two became close friends.
The General 'tied the bell on the tiger' and took it off.
5 October 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Self-control
Post 63 Be the master of your heart
The Chinese character for ‘anger’ is written as 怒. It is composed of 奴 which means ‘slave’ and 心 meaning ‘heart’. When one gets angry, one becomes the slave of one’s heart. Self-control is needed for the anger in one’s heart to be subdued.
When one has love, one does not get angry. The traditional Chinese character for love is written as 愛. There is a heart (心) in the centre; above the heart are family members under the same roof; and below it friends (友). One loves them with one’s heart.
However, the traditional version of love (愛) has now been simplified to be written as 爱, with the heart (心）missing. There have now been calls by Chinese scholars to appeal to the Chinese government for the traditional version to be used again. They say, “How can one love without the heart?”
The word heart (心) is in the two Chinese characters: anger (怒) and love (愛). The former brings enmity while the latter, friendship.
28 September 2010
The Chinese character for ‘anger’ is written as 怒. It is composed of 奴 which means ‘slave’ and 心 meaning ‘heart’. When one gets angry, one becomes the slave of one’s heart. Self-control is needed for the anger in one’s heart to be subdued.
When one has love, one does not get angry. The traditional Chinese character for love is written as 愛. There is a heart (心) in the centre; above the heart are family members under the same roof; and below it friends (友). One loves them with one’s heart.
However, the traditional version of love (愛) has now been simplified to be written as 爱, with the heart (心）missing. There have now been calls by Chinese scholars to appeal to the Chinese government for the traditional version to be used again. They say, “How can one love without the heart?”
The word heart (心) is in the two Chinese characters: anger (怒) and love (愛). The former brings enmity while the latter, friendship.
28 September 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Go travelling
Post 62 Widen your horizon through travelling
When one has financial freedom, one can do many things. One can travel from place to place enjoying the beauties of nature; admiring different scenic spots; and widen one’s horizon. One needs to unwind oneself and be away from the pressure of work whenever there is an opportunity to do so. “It is better to see once than hear a hundred times”, so goes the Chinese saying.
The tour to Turkey was a lesson on history of religion and tolerance well learnt for me. It was also a journey which would impress tourists on what make a great statesman: patriotism, foresight and sagacity, courage, wisdom, and compassion. While politicians are plentiful, statesmen are few and far apart in the world.
John F. Kennedy speaking in Washington D.C., November 10, 1963 on the 25th commemoration of Mustafa Kemel Ataturk, the founder of Modern Turkey as: “The name of Ataturk brings to mind the historic accomplishments of one of the great men of this century, his inspired leadership of the Turkish People, his perceptive understanding of the modern world and his boldness as a military leader.”
Ataturk’s high expectation of educators are reflected in his following quotes:
“Teachers are the one and only people who save nations.”;
“Teachers: the new generation will be your devotion.”
“Teachers are the one and only people who save nations.”;
“Teachers: the new generation will be your devotion.”
21 September 2010
(Writer was away on vacation for two weeks)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The test of time
Post 61 A heart of gold
This was one of the lessons I learnt while I was in the primary school: As distance tests a horse’s strength, so time reveals a person’s heart. One will only know how strong a horse is by observing the distance it can cover. Similarly one will only know a person’s true colour after having been with him or her for a long time. Only time can tell whether one is our bosom friend or not.
Looking from another perspective, one may allude that the talent of a person manifests itself as time goes by. For example, the capability or the lack of it, of the one holding the reins of power is revealed through the way one plans and executes policies. Hence, if distance can test a horse’s strength, time will also tell us about one’s limitation in ability and intelligence.
Here is a Chinese platitude: “A man lives by his face and a tree, its bark.” Take away the outer appearances of a man and a tree, their innermost nature appears. One may know a person's face but not his heart. In times of stress when men become haters of good, one finds it difficult to have true friends.
A heart of gold is therefore even more to be desired than gold.
31 August 2010
This was one of the lessons I learnt while I was in the primary school: As distance tests a horse’s strength, so time reveals a person’s heart. One will only know how strong a horse is by observing the distance it can cover. Similarly one will only know a person’s true colour after having been with him or her for a long time. Only time can tell whether one is our bosom friend or not.
Looking from another perspective, one may allude that the talent of a person manifests itself as time goes by. For example, the capability or the lack of it, of the one holding the reins of power is revealed through the way one plans and executes policies. Hence, if distance can test a horse’s strength, time will also tell us about one’s limitation in ability and intelligence.
Here is a Chinese platitude: “A man lives by his face and a tree, its bark.” Take away the outer appearances of a man and a tree, their innermost nature appears. One may know a person's face but not his heart. In times of stress when men become haters of good, one finds it difficult to have true friends.
A heart of gold is therefore even more to be desired than gold.
31 August 2010
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