Self-control

Post 63 Be the master of your heart

The Chinese character for ‘anger’ is written as 怒. It is composed of 奴 which means ‘slave’ and 心 meaning ‘heart’. When one gets angry, one becomes the slave of one’s heart. Self-control is needed for the anger in one’s heart to be subdued.

When one has love, one does not get angry. The traditional Chinese character for love is written as 愛. There is a heart (心) in the centre; above the heart are family members under the same roof; and below it friends (友). One loves them with one’s heart.

However, the traditional version of love (愛) has now been simplified to be written as 爱, with the heart (心）missing. There have now been calls by Chinese scholars to appeal to the Chinese government for the traditional version to be used again. They say, “How can one love without the heart?”

The word heart (心) is in the two Chinese characters: anger (怒) and love (愛). The former brings enmity while the latter, friendship.

28 September 2010

Go travelling

Post 62 Widen your horizon through travelling

When one has financial freedom, one can do many things. One can travel from place to place enjoying the beauties of nature; admiring different scenic spots; and widen one’s horizon. One needs to unwind oneself and be away from the pressure of work whenever there is an opportunity to do so. “It is better to see once than hear a hundred times”, so goes the Chinese saying.

The tour to Turkey was a lesson on history of religion and tolerance well learnt for me. It was also a journey which would impress tourists on what make a great statesman: patriotism, foresight and sagacity, courage, wisdom, and compassion. While politicians are plentiful, statesmen are few and far apart in the world.

John F. Kennedy speaking in Washington D.C., November 10, 1963 on the 25th commemoration of Mustafa Kemel Ataturk, the founder of Modern Turkey as: “The name of Ataturk brings to mind the historic accomplishments of one of the great men of this century, his inspired leadership of the Turkish People, his perceptive understanding of the modern world and his boldness as a military leader.”

Ataturk’s high expectation of educators are reflected in his following quotes:
“Teachers are the one and only people who save nations.”;
“Teachers: the new generation will be your devotion.”

21 September 2010

(Writer was away on vacation for two weeks)

The test of time

Post 61 A heart of gold

This was one of the lessons I learnt while I was in the primary school: As distance tests a horse’s strength, so time reveals a person’s heart. One will only know how strong a horse is by observing the distance it can cover. Similarly one will only know a person’s true colour after having been with him or her for a long time. Only time can tell whether one is our bosom friend or not.

Looking from another perspective, one may allude that the talent of a person manifests itself as time goes by. For example, the capability or the lack of it, of the one holding the reins of power is revealed through the way one plans and executes policies. Hence, if distance can test a horse’s strength, time will also tell us about one’s limitation in ability and intelligence.

Here is a Chinese platitude: “A man lives by his face and a tree, its bark.” Take away the outer appearances of a man and a tree, their innermost nature appears. One may know a person's face but not his heart. In times of stress when men become haters of good, one finds it difficult to have true friends.

A heart of gold is therefore even more to be desired than gold.

31 August 2010

Be there or be square

Post 60 A square peg in a round hole

A square is a shape that has four sides of equal length and four right angles. Thus, it can also mean fair or honest. When one is said to be fair and square, it is a compliment. However, the term ‘square’ can also denote slang for old-fashioned. One may be square and out of touch with modern trends. When one feels out of place at a boisterous party, one is a square peg in a round hole.

Children who have varied hobbies and are nurtured to be versatile in games and sports are live wires in social gatherings. They tend to be more popular than their peers who keep to themselves. They stand to be counted in the list of invited guests for meetings and parties. When friends transfer name lists to new diaries, people who are always ‘there’ are not likely to have their names deleted.

Different people have different personalities. Some have a very cheerful disposition while some others possess a quiet temperament. An extrovert and an introvert are of opposite characters. Nevertheless, it is best that one learns to adapt to different situations and mix around as far as possible. No man is an island.

Be fair and square is one of life’s principles. However, the choice of either to 'be there or be square' rests squarely on each individual.

24 August 2010

Comparison

Post 59 Riding a horse, a donkey, and on foot

This is a Chinese anecdote. A man riding a donkey saw a man riding a horse ahead of him. However, when he looked back, he saw a porter carrying things on a shoulder pole. He felt a moral victory in him because the porter was on foot. He was glad to be better off than the porter in comparison, though he was envious of the person in front. The attitude of the man on the donkey is natural and normal. People like to compare among themselves.

However, when one begins to compare with others on many things, one may become a victim of frustration and desperation. Life becomes miserable. If the porter were to be jealous of the man riding the donkey, who incidentally was also envious of the horse rider in front of him, there would then be a vicious cycle of conflicts and dissensions among the three of them.

Each individual has different talents. One ought to exploit one’s aptitude to the fullest without having to compare with others whose multiple intelligences are different. People should mutually encourage and respect one another for whoever and whatever they are, irrespective of social status.

In this competitive world, high achievers are targets of jealousy; even friends may feel resentful at not being able to be as successful as they are.

Fame portends trouble for those who boast and set off a chain of comparison.

17 August 2010

Be earnest and down-to-earth

Post 58 Have one’s feet planted on solid ground

A good and sure way of gaining success is to have both an ambitious goal and a down-to-earth style of work. One who is unrealistic tends to build castles in the air. One who hopes to reap without sowing is not earnest and practical in making one’s life fulfilling. It is even worse and disgraceful when one demands to profit by other people’s toil.

To succeed in one’s endeavour, the beginning is always the most difficult. One must therefore plan one’s strategies. Execute them with patient endurance and be down-to-earth. Success is progressive and not instant. Only by having one’s feet planted on solid ground can one begin to advance gradually. With perseverance, an iron pestle can even be ground down to a needle.

On another aspect, children who are taught to know the value of money will not spend without restraint when they grow up. They will be down-to-earth in their financial planning. Hence it is not their habit to throw money about like dirt, even though they are rich.

Be earnest and down-to-earth. The ground is solid enough for everyone to stand on!

10 August 2010

Table manners

Post 57 Observe correct social behaviour at meals

Table manners are the ways how a person behaves when eating a meal, especially with regard to proper social behaviour. Both good and atrocious table manners are the results of family education or the lack of it. One who is properly brought up has good table manners.

When my siblings and I were young, our mother taught us how to hold chopsticks correctly. We have her to thank for because of the skill acquired. Other lessons on table manners taught to us were: not to speak when our mouth is full; refrain from speaking loudly; and both hands must always be on the table while eating.

We were specifically told not to make noise while eating or drinking soup. This is in contrast with the Japanese who make slurping noises while eating noodles, to show that they enjoy the food they are eating. Though different cultures have different rules, there are still certain social behaviours which are universally applicable.

Of all table manners, putting one’s chair in after meals is etiquette much to be appreciated, irrespective of social class or group.


3 August 2010