The test of time

Post 61 A heart of gold

This was one of the lessons I learnt while I was in the primary school: As distance tests a horse’s strength, so time reveals a person’s heart. One will only know how strong a horse is by observing the distance it can cover. Similarly one will only know a person’s true colour after having been with him or her for a long time. Only time can tell whether one is our bosom friend or not.

Looking from another perspective, one may allude that the talent of a person manifests itself as time goes by. For example, the capability or the lack of it, of the one holding the reins of power is revealed through the way one plans and executes policies. Hence, if distance can test a horse’s strength, time will also tell us about one’s limitation in ability and intelligence.

Here is a Chinese platitude: “A man lives by his face and a tree, its bark.” Take away the outer appearances of a man and a tree, their innermost nature appears. One may know a person's face but not his heart. In times of stress when men become haters of good, one finds it difficult to have true friends.

A heart of gold is therefore even more to be desired than gold.

31 August 2010

Be there or be square

Post 60 A square peg in a round hole

A square is a shape that has four sides of equal length and four right angles. Thus, it can also mean fair or honest. When one is said to be fair and square, it is a compliment. However, the term ‘square’ can also denote slang for old-fashioned. One may be square and out of touch with modern trends. When one feels out of place at a boisterous party, one is a square peg in a round hole.

Children who have varied hobbies and are nurtured to be versatile in games and sports are live wires in social gatherings. They tend to be more popular than their peers who keep to themselves. They stand to be counted in the list of invited guests for meetings and parties. When friends transfer name lists to new diaries, people who are always ‘there’ are not likely to have their names deleted.

Different people have different personalities. Some have a very cheerful disposition while some others possess a quiet temperament. An extrovert and an introvert are of opposite characters. Nevertheless, it is best that one learns to adapt to different situations and mix around as far as possible. No man is an island.

Be fair and square is one of life’s principles. However, the choice of either to 'be there or be square' rests squarely on each individual.

24 August 2010

Comparison

Post 59 Riding a horse, a donkey, and on foot

This is a Chinese anecdote. A man riding a donkey saw a man riding a horse ahead of him. However, when he looked back, he saw a porter carrying things on a shoulder pole. He felt a moral victory in him because the porter was on foot. He was glad to be better off than the porter in comparison, though he was envious of the person in front. The attitude of the man on the donkey is natural and normal. People like to compare among themselves.

However, when one begins to compare with others on many things, one may become a victim of frustration and desperation. Life becomes miserable. If the porter were to be jealous of the man riding the donkey, who incidentally was also envious of the horse rider in front of him, there would then be a vicious cycle of conflicts and dissensions among the three of them.

Each individual has different talents. One ought to exploit one’s aptitude to the fullest without having to compare with others whose multiple intelligences are different. People should mutually encourage and respect one another for whoever and whatever they are, irrespective of social status.

In this competitive world, high achievers are targets of jealousy; even friends may feel resentful at not being able to be as successful as they are.

Fame portends trouble for those who boast and set off a chain of comparison.

17 August 2010

Be earnest and down-to-earth

Post 58 Have one’s feet planted on solid ground

A good and sure way of gaining success is to have both an ambitious goal and a down-to-earth style of work. One who is unrealistic tends to build castles in the air. One who hopes to reap without sowing is not earnest and practical in making one’s life fulfilling. It is even worse and disgraceful when one demands to profit by other people’s toil.

To succeed in one’s endeavour, the beginning is always the most difficult. One must therefore plan one’s strategies. Execute them with patient endurance and be down-to-earth. Success is progressive and not instant. Only by having one’s feet planted on solid ground can one begin to advance gradually. With perseverance, an iron pestle can even be ground down to a needle.

On another aspect, children who are taught to know the value of money will not spend without restraint when they grow up. They will be down-to-earth in their financial planning. Hence it is not their habit to throw money about like dirt, even though they are rich.

Be earnest and down-to-earth. The ground is solid enough for everyone to stand on!

10 August 2010

Table manners

Post 57 Observe correct social behaviour at meals

Table manners are the ways how a person behaves when eating a meal, especially with regard to proper social behaviour. Both good and atrocious table manners are the results of family education or the lack of it. One who is properly brought up has good table manners.

When my siblings and I were young, our mother taught us how to hold chopsticks correctly. We have her to thank for because of the skill acquired. Other lessons on table manners taught to us were: not to speak when our mouth is full; refrain from speaking loudly; and both hands must always be on the table while eating.

We were specifically told not to make noise while eating or drinking soup. This is in contrast with the Japanese who make slurping noises while eating noodles, to show that they enjoy the food they are eating. Though different cultures have different rules, there are still certain social behaviours which are universally applicable.

Of all table manners, putting one’s chair in after meals is etiquette much to be appreciated, irrespective of social class or group.


3 August 2010

Tit for tat

Post 56 Shave others’ heads and one’s head will also be shaved by others

This Chinese saying has its equivalent in ‘Tit for tat’ which means to retaliate in kind. It is an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. When one puts others on the spot and makes them feel ashamed for their shortcomings, one must be prepared that one day it will be one’s turn to be humiliated.

The saying reminds one to stop before going too far; let others be able to back down with good grace for their follies. If there is reason for forgiveness, do not make others look for a place to crawl into to hide their shame.

When one achieves success when young, one must not consider everybody and everything beneath one’s notice. Remember that beyond a high mountain, there will be another one with a greater height. However strong one is, there is always someone stronger.

If one must shave others’ heads, do it at one's own peril.

27 July 2010

An Empty tin and a piece of coin

Post 55 Empty vessels make the most noise

During one of my Civics lessons in primary school, our lady teacher asked a boy from the class to put a coin inside an empty tin she was holding. She then told the boy to shake the tin as hard as he could. The whole classroom was then filled with the rattling noise in the tin. We were wondering what the teacher was trying to teach us that day.

She explained to the class that a learned man who is humble speaks wisely; the thoughtless often speak the most without any substance. They do not have much between their ears. They have inferiority complex and just want to be seen and heard. The class might not have understood our teacher fully at that time. Nevertheless, her message surely rings a bell in me whenever I see an empty tin.

A man of great wisdom speaks in a rational and convincing way; whereas words of rattlebrains are utterly devoid of substance. Hence, one ought to learn not to indulge in parading one’s limited knowledge or smartness.

Sometimes the best part lies in what is left unsaid.

20 July 2010