Comparison

Post 59 Riding a horse, a donkey, and on foot

This is a Chinese anecdote. A man riding a donkey saw a man riding a horse ahead of him. However, when he looked back, he saw a porter carrying things on a shoulder pole. He felt a moral victory in him because the porter was on foot. He was glad to be better off than the porter in comparison, though he was envious of the person in front. The attitude of the man on the donkey is natural and normal. People like to compare among themselves.

However, when one begins to compare with others on many things, one may become a victim of frustration and desperation. Life becomes miserable. If the porter were to be jealous of the man riding the donkey, who incidentally was also envious of the horse rider in front of him, there would then be a vicious cycle of conflicts and dissensions among the three of them.

Each individual has different talents. One ought to exploit one’s aptitude to the fullest without having to compare with others whose multiple intelligences are different. People should mutually encourage and respect one another for whoever and whatever they are, irrespective of social status.

In this competitive world, high achievers are targets of jealousy; even friends may feel resentful at not being able to be as successful as they are.

Fame portends trouble for those who boast and set off a chain of comparison.

17 August 2010

Be earnest and down-to-earth

Post 58 Have one’s feet planted on solid ground

A good and sure way of gaining success is to have both an ambitious goal and a down-to-earth style of work. One who is unrealistic tends to build castles in the air. One who hopes to reap without sowing is not earnest and practical in making one’s life fulfilling. It is even worse and disgraceful when one demands to profit by other people’s toil.

To succeed in one’s endeavour, the beginning is always the most difficult. One must therefore plan one’s strategies. Execute them with patient endurance and be down-to-earth. Success is progressive and not instant. Only by having one’s feet planted on solid ground can one begin to advance gradually. With perseverance, an iron pestle can even be ground down to a needle.

On another aspect, children who are taught to know the value of money will not spend without restraint when they grow up. They will be down-to-earth in their financial planning. Hence it is not their habit to throw money about like dirt, even though they are rich.

Be earnest and down-to-earth. The ground is solid enough for everyone to stand on!

10 August 2010

Table manners

Post 57 Observe correct social behaviour at meals

Table manners are the ways how a person behaves when eating a meal, especially with regard to proper social behaviour. Both good and atrocious table manners are the results of family education or the lack of it. One who is properly brought up has good table manners.

When my siblings and I were young, our mother taught us how to hold chopsticks correctly. We have her to thank for because of the skill acquired. Other lessons on table manners taught to us were: not to speak when our mouth is full; refrain from speaking loudly; and both hands must always be on the table while eating.

We were specifically told not to make noise while eating or drinking soup. This is in contrast with the Japanese who make slurping noises while eating noodles, to show that they enjoy the food they are eating. Though different cultures have different rules, there are still certain social behaviours which are universally applicable.

Of all table manners, putting one’s chair in after meals is etiquette much to be appreciated, irrespective of social class or group.


3 August 2010

Tit for tat

Post 56 Shave others’ heads and one’s head will also be shaved by others

This Chinese saying has its equivalent in ‘Tit for tat’ which means to retaliate in kind. It is an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. When one puts others on the spot and makes them feel ashamed for their shortcomings, one must be prepared that one day it will be one’s turn to be humiliated.

The saying reminds one to stop before going too far; let others be able to back down with good grace for their follies. If there is reason for forgiveness, do not make others look for a place to crawl into to hide their shame.

When one achieves success when young, one must not consider everybody and everything beneath one’s notice. Remember that beyond a high mountain, there will be another one with a greater height. However strong one is, there is always someone stronger.

If one must shave others’ heads, do it at one's own peril.

27 July 2010

An Empty tin and a piece of coin

Post 55 Empty vessels make the most noise

During one of my Civics lessons in primary school, our lady teacher asked a boy from the class to put a coin inside an empty tin she was holding. She then told the boy to shake the tin as hard as he could. The whole classroom was then filled with the rattling noise in the tin. We were wondering what the teacher was trying to teach us that day.

She explained to the class that a learned man who is humble speaks wisely; the thoughtless often speak the most without any substance. They do not have much between their ears. They have inferiority complex and just want to be seen and heard. The class might not have understood our teacher fully at that time. Nevertheless, her message surely rings a bell in me whenever I see an empty tin.

A man of great wisdom speaks in a rational and convincing way; whereas words of rattlebrains are utterly devoid of substance. Hence, one ought to learn not to indulge in parading one’s limited knowledge or smartness.

Sometimes the best part lies in what is left unsaid.

20 July 2010

Yi Zun Jiujiao

Post 54 Go to someone for advice

This is the Chinese saying which means taking one's wine cup to another person's table to humbly seek his advice. By doing so it shows that one is willing to take the initiative to approach and learn from others. Anyone who does not feel ashamed to ask and learn from even one's subordinates has this attitude of Yi Zun Jiujiao.

Julius Caesar was a Roman general and politician of great character and intelligence. He said, "Experience is the teacher of all things." Indeed, when we Yi Zun Jiujiao, we are reaping the vast experiences of our mentors. The sum of their experiences is much greater than the part in us.

One who is conceited thinks highly of oneself. When one considers oneself as no ordinary being, it is not easy for one to want to go to someone for advice. However, we should always remember that one loses by pride and gains by modesty. The humble sees others better than himself.

An unknown author says, "Swallow your pride occasionally; it's non-fattening!"

13 July 2010

Lions and ants

Post 53 The reality of life

A Cambodian friend told me this anecdote about lions and ants while sending me off at the airport. He said that a dead lion is powerless. Even small insects like ants gather to eat the eyes of a dead lion without fear. When asked why the eyes are eaten, my friend said that eyes are soft and juicy.

A lion may fight with its claws and menacing looking teeth, but not for long. A day will come when the lion will look pathetic. Those parts of the body will be rendered useless when the lion is old or dead. The authority of a lion over other animals is awe-inspiring only when its strength can still be demonstrated.

Ants live in highly organised colonies. They can carry blades of grass back to the nest through team work. As an individual ant, it is insignificant. However as ants congregate, they become a force to be reckoned with.

The moral lesson here is that both the power and fearsome look of a person disappear when he is out of favour or old. This is the reality of life.


6 July 2010