When the hare dies, the fox is grieved

Post 46 To have sympathy with people of the same fate

Long time ago, an old man saw a fox weeping in a jungle and asked why he cried. The fox answered by saying that his friend, the hare, was killed by a hunter. In between sobs, the fox said that the next to be hunted down would be him. How could he not feel sad? The old man then sighed and said that fellow sufferers would surely commiserate with each other.

Hares are not carnivores or flesh-eating animals; foxes are. When hares die, foxes will have meat to eat. Why then should foxes grieve when hares die? The fact is that both hares and foxes are hunting targets of human beings. So when hares die, foxes will become the next target for hunters. There is every reason for foxes to feel anxious. However, no matter whether hares and foxes are enemies or friends, they cannot escape the fate of being chased and hunted.

This Chinese idiom is therefore used to show that when a person of the same fate dies, the others will worry about the imminent danger or misfortune befalling them.

Self-pity came so naturally for the fox.

18 May 2010

A comical scholar

Post 45 Fall behind Sun Shan

Sun Shan was a gifted scholar during the Song dynasty in China more than 1,000 years ago. He was humorous and good at cracking jokes. His friends called him the ‘comical scholar’.

Once he went to sit for a competitive examination in Beijing. Together with him sitting for the same examination was the son of a man from the same village. When the results were out, Sun Shan was successful. However, his name was last on the list of successful candidates. The son of the villager did not get through.

When Sun Shan reached home, the man from the same village asked him whether his son had passed the examination. Sun Shan found it difficult to break the bad news to him. Casually Sun Shan then blurted out a short poem:

‘The last on the passing list is me, Sun Shan
However, the name of your son falls behind Sun Shan.”

Since then the idiom ‘fall behind Sun Shan’ is used to refer to candidates who have failed in their examinations.

11 May 2010

A hanger-on

Post 44 ‘Parasitic guests’

In ancient China there was a group of so-called ‘advisers’ employed to serve and entertain their masters as ‘parasitic guests’ or Shike. They were different from persuasive ‘lobbyists’ or Shuike, another group of people who were employed for their gift of the gab.

These ‘parasitic guests’ were considered by some people to be opportunists. They sponged on or acted as a hanger-on of an aristocrat. A hanger-on is someone who associates with an important person for gain. Sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference between a real friend and a hanger-on. An aristocrat, on the other hand, is a nobleman or a member of a hereditary ruling class. Hence, when these two classes of people worked together, they acted out a display of hypocrisy and flattery.

When their services were required, these ‘parasitic guests’ would also represent their masters in entertaining VIPs. Whenever there were feasts being held, they could expect to be counted to sit among close friends and relatives of their masters. ‘Parasitic guests’ existed more than 2,500 years ago. Do you think they exist today in our society, albeit in a different name?

4 May 2010

Water is precious

Post 43 We never miss the water till the well runs dry

In her book, Desert Flower, which was at one time the top international bestseller, Waris Dirie talked of how precious water was to her:

“When I was growing up in Somalia, we appreciate the simple things in life. We celebrated the rain because that meant we had water. Who in New York worries about water? Let it run from the tap while you walk away and do something else in the kitchen. It’s always there when you need it…It’s when you don’t have something that you appreciate it, and since we had nothing, we appreciate everything.”

When one seriously thinks of those staying in places where people have to walk for hours each day to get water, one has to learn not to waste water, even though it is free for fixed units of water used. It is to be remembered that in any drought, the lack of rainfall means that farmlands will not produce their yields. Food will become expensive and the soaring prices will then hit at everyone’s pocket.

In the early months of 2010, China experienced a severe drought when temperatures and rainfall were at their worst levels since the 1950s. Eighteen million people and eleven million livestock were affected. This is a case of “We never miss the water till the well runs dry”.

27 April 2010

Big mouth

Post 42 Foot-in-the-mouth

Literally speaking when one’s mouth is big enough to put one’s foot in, be it the left or the right foot, one has a big mouth. Hence, when a person puts his foot in his mouth, he embarrasses himself by saying the wrong thing. One must learn to think twice before speaking lest one might make a mockery of oneself.

A national leader’s words at the critical moment might affect the rise and fall of his country. The Chinese saying of "Words wisely spoken would be powerful enough to cause a nation rise, and words rashly spoken would also be strong enough to make a nation fall" is frequently used to warn leaders not to put their foot in their mouth.

When Shakespeare wants characters to learn the truth about what they really are, he sends them to the woods to do some soul searching. It is in the forest and its natural setting that there is ‘good in everything’. Here is an excerpt from As You Like It –Act II Scene II: “Find tongues in trees, books in running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. I would not change it.”

The foot-in-the-mouth specimens ought to learn to keep their big mouth shut until they know what they are talking about.

20 April 2010

Do not overstay your welcome

Post 41 A constant guest is never welcome

This is a Spanish proverb. Its equivalent in English is ‘Constant company wears out its welcome’. Generally people like to have their friends’ company once in a while. However if their friends’ visitation is too frequent, they tend to be wary of their presence.

A visitor who stays for weeks in a friend’s house is not only a nuisance but inconsiderate. Leaving your host wanting more of your presence is better than overstaying your welcome. The social etiquette requires one to be understanding and not to impose too much time and effort on the host.

In any organisation, leaders who have occupied top posts must know when to retreat. This is to allow the next echelon of leaders to be nurtured. Thus, leaders should not forcibly occupy top posts for too long when their contributions are no more needed. To continue to be reluctant to part with their posts, these overbearing people have at best overstayed their welcome.

Hence, to be able to resolutely retire at the height of one’s official career is wisdom personified. When the time comes for retirement, one should do so gracefully so as not to hinder others of a chance for promotion.

13 April 2010

A fair-weather friend

Post 40 A friend in need is a friend indeed

When you have a group of wine-and-meat friends, you have fair-weather friends. A fair-weather friend is one who is always with you when times are good but disappears when you are in difficulty. There are many fair-weather friends around but bosom friends are few and far in between in life.

When fair-weather friends desert a friend who is in distress, a very common platitude that will be said of these wine-and-meat friends is “they have changed’. Have they really changed when they left that friend at the time when help was needed? No, they have not changed. The misfortune of their friend only magnifies and manifests the true nature of these fair-weather friends. They have shown their true colours at the most opportune moment.

Hence, one may know a person’s face but not his heart. Fame, wealth and social status do not change a person’s innate nature. Sometimes a seemingly humble and gentle person may become arrogant and hot-tempered when high position and great wealth are at hand. However, this is not true for one who was born innately good. Under all circumstances, be it in riches or in poverty, one’s humility and kindness remain. Suffice it to say for one to have a few bosom friends as true friends are hard to come by. Fair-weather friends in abundance are not a blessing. As the saying goes:

Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find one good you must a hundred try. -- Claude Mermet

6 April 2010